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Discuss The Advantages And Disadvantages Of High School Students Having Part Time Jobs

Discuss The Advantages And Disadvantages Of High School Students Having Part Time Jobs KWKE1
Part time jobs are the source of earning extra money, either it is carried out with ongoing jobs or may it be with continuation in high schools. Many families promote and encourage their children to grab part time job opportunities, which eventually not only serve the families but also helps students to understand and pursue their dreams. As the say: “Every coin has two sides to it”, therefore to embark on with the benefits on can get out of it, we may mention that firstly these jobs help students to be independent. It makes them affluent to support their educational expenses and their lavish leisure time activities. Besides, it also helps the students to support their families to meet the expenses. Conventionally, only the guardians were the soul bread earner to the family because of which it was impedent to earn their living in a sustainable way eventually building pressures. However, this radical approach towards life has changed perspectives of many families and thus presently children are equally sharing the responsibilities to help make life easier. However, to argue the benefits, there are some drawbacks attached to this new approach too. Students when having part time jobs, it makes them sacrifice their many leisure hour activities consequently affecting their personality. Moreover, they become mature in their tender age in order to carry out the responsibilities. Not only this, but the students in order to be productive at job premises have to forgo their studying time which in long run eventually leads to hurdle in their carrier. Thus, to recapitulate, it can be said that students having part time jobs has both its pros and cons but analyzing the benefits and turning them into one’s own favor is how it can be a blessing in disguise and not a dilemma otherwise.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Part
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
are the source of earning extra money, either it
is carried
out with ongoing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
or may it be with continuation in high schools.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
promote and encourage their children to grab
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
part
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
opportunities, which
eventually
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
serve the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helps
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to understand and pursue their dreams.

As the say: “Every coin has two sides to it”,
therefore
to embark on with the benefits on can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
out of it, we may mention that
firstly
these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to be independent. It
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
them affluent to support their educational expenses and their lavish leisure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
activities.
Besides
, it
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helps
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to support their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
the expenses.
Conventionally
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
the guardians were the soul bread earner to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of which it was
Possible spelling mistake found.
impedent
to earn their living
Consider replacing "in a sustainable way" with the adverb for "sustainable"; e.g., "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
in a sustainable way
eventually
building pressures.
However
, this radical approach towards life has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
perspectives of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
and
thus
presently
children are
equally
sharing the responsibilities to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
life easier.

However
, to argue the benefits, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
drawbacks attached to this new approach too.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Students
when having
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
part
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
them sacrifice their
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
leisure hour activities
consequently
affecting their personality.
Moreover
, they become mature in their tender age in order to carry out the responsibilities. Not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
this,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
in order to be productive at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
premises
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
forgo their studying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
which in long run
eventually
leads to hurdle in their carrier.

Thus
, to recapitulate, it can
be said
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
having
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
part
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
has both its pros and cons
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
analyzing the benefits and turning them into one’s
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
favor is how it can be a blessing in disguise and not a dilemma
otherwise
.
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IELTS essay Discuss The Advantages And Disadvantages Of High School Students Having Part Time Jobs

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
300 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
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