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Computer's education at school

Computer's education at school XVYXY
In this Modern-day computer training is part of the curriculum for students. In my opinion it's necessary. Host of us are too-well aware that on the daily basis working with computers for undergraduates is simplified by their every day interactions with them. How ever it is a skill that need some some time to be master in it. Children can't know about the advanced features of it by just a glance, so it takes a long time before knowing it inside about and they have a long way to go and for their exclusive studies they must learn how to use word, excel, PowerPoint and etc. And because it is kind of education. they will gain some knowledge and be able to work professionally with computers. And from their daily interactions they can only now the basic things. Moreover, some people can't afford to buy computers or any electronics items so utilize the computers at school is a great opportunity for them. Finally as far as i considered learners can work with computers but to know everythig is just possible with classes at school
In this Modern-day computer training is part of the curriculum for students. In my opinion it's necessary. Host of us are too-well aware that on the daily basis working with computers for undergraduates
is simplified
by their every day interactions with them.
Did you mean "however"?
How ever
it is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
that need
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
time to be master in it. Children can't know about the advanced features of it by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
a glance,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
it takes a long time
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
knowing it inside
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
about and
they have a long way to go and for their exclusive studies they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
learn how to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
word, excel, PowerPoint
Write the name of the item after 'and' or use only "etc".
and etc
. And
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it is kind of education.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
they
will gain
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
knowledge and be able to work
professionally
with computers. And from their daily interactions they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
the basic things.
Moreover
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
can't afford to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
computers or any electronics items
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
utilize the computers at school is a great opportunity for them.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Finally
as far as
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
considered learners can work with computers
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
to know
Possible spelling mistake found.
everythig
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
possible with classes at
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
school

IELTS essay Computer's education at school

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
183 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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