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The prevention of health problems and illness is more important than treatment and medicine. Government funding should reflect this.To what extent do you agree?

The prevention of health problems and illness is more important than treatment and medicine. Government funding should reflect this. Nqk2
Preventing health issues and diseases are better than treating them and hence high authorities should allocate the appropriate budget for it. I completely agree with this given statement as it maintains a healthy lifestyle and save the money on medical expenses in the future. Firstly, if the government spend money more on promoting prevention methods, it can encourage people to live a good and stress free life. For instance, keeping the environment clean and hygiene may limit the chance for malaria to arise. Furthermore, the government also takes a part in spreading substantial benefits of sports and exercise. Such as regular exercise would help enhance one’s immune system which later reduces the risk of diseases such as obesity, heart attack or high blood pressure. Secondly, state funding should also be shared more health care service and supervision offering more free health check points in the hospitals to encourage people to monitor their health More frequently, which helps identify the serious health problems since the early stage. In conclusion, I strongly believe that mor effort s and money should be put on health issues rather than cure by government.
Preventing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
issues and diseases are better than treating them and
hence
high authorities should allocate the appropriate budget for it. I completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
statement as it maintains a healthy lifestyle and save the money on medical expenses in the future.
Firstly
, if the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
spend money more on promoting prevention methods, it can encourage
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
free life.
For instance
, keeping the environment clean and hygiene may limit the chance for malaria to arise.
Furthermore
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
also
takes a part in spreading substantial benefits of sports and exercise. Such as regular exercise would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
enhance one’s immune system which later
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduces
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
of diseases such as obesity, heart attack or high blood pressure.
Secondly
, state funding should
also
be shared
more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
care service and supervision offering more free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
check
points in the hospitals to encourage
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to monitor their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
More
frequently
, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
identify the serious
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
problems since the early stage.
In conclusion
, I
strongly
believe that
Possible spelling mistake found.
mor
effort s and money should
be put
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
issues
rather
than cure by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
.
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IELTS essay The prevention of health problems and illness is more important than treatment and medicine. Government funding should reflect this.

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
188 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
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