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THE PRESENT HAS BEEN CREATED BASED ON THE PAST

THE PRESENT HAS BEEN CREATED BASED ON THE PAST NlMjN
From my perspective, I do not support Alistair MacLeod’s explanation because I believe we should live for our present, not for the past. The author said our present is created from the past and our ancestors. It is undeniable to say that but the change and development from the past until now are tremendous. During this time, people have been finding and innovating more ways to improve lifestyles and customs. People right now live instantly because they want to adapt to a “new environment” which has a lot of new things. Moreover, it also does not mean that they do not appreciate the past, it is more likely thankful for their ancestors and improves from the foundation. When everything is getting more modern and convenient, it is incontrovertible that the demand and desire increase significantly. People are encouraged to follow their passion or dream because there are so many choices for them. In addition, we have so many offers at the moment in every aspect such as occupation, food, or clothes. Besides that, we are living in the fourth industrial revolution which means technology is the leading trend. We cannot compare the present and the past because there is a huge gap that we might know and see how humans have developed and been creative. In my opinion, appreciating the past means we honor what our ancestors did and keep celebrating it, it does not mean that we have lived like how our ancestors did. Human intelligence is endless, we never know what is going to happen tomorrow. I believe we should cherish our present because the past is gone and it was beautiful in our memory.
From my perspective, I do not support Alistair MacLeod’s explanation
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
I believe we should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
for our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
present
, not for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
past
. The author said our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
present
is created
from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
past
and our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ancestors
. It is undeniable to say that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
and development from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
past
until
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
are tremendous. During this time,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
have been finding and innovating more ways to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
lifestyles and customs.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
right
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
instantly
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they want to adapt to a “new environment” which has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
new things.
Moreover
, it
also
does not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mean
that they do not appreciate the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
past
, it is more likely thankful for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ancestors
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improves
from the foundation.

When everything is getting more modern and convenient, it is incontrovertible that the demand and desire increase
significantly
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
are encouraged
to follow their passion or dream
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
choices for them.
In addition
, we have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
offers at the moment in every aspect such as occupation, food, or clothes.
Besides
that, we are living in the fourth industrial revolution which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
means
technology is the leading trend. We cannot compare the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
present
and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
past
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
there is a huge gap that we might know and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
how humans have developed and been creative. In my opinion, appreciating the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
past
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
means
we honor what our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ancestors
did and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
celebrating it, it does not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mean
that we have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lived
like how our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ancestors
did. Human intelligence is endless, we never know what is going to happen tomorrow. I believe we should cherish our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
present
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
past
is gone
and it was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
beautiful
in our memory.
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IELTS essay THE PRESENT HAS BEEN CREATED BASED ON THE PAST

Essay
  American English
2 paragraphs
277 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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