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Some parents think that they can take advantage of modern technology to educate their children at home. Others argue that the learning process can only be facilitated with the appearance of teachers. Which opinion are you in favour of? Why?

Some parents think that they can take advantage of modern technology to educate their children at home. Others argue that the learning process can only be facilitated with the appearance of teachers. Which opinion are you in favour of? Why? XqEMO
Whether should children study online remains controversial. Some parents give their idea that they can educate their children at home by dint of modern technology, whereas others think that this can be happened effectively only by teachers. It seems that I partly agree with the former one. First of all, thanks to technology and parents, children can study and discover much more things in life. When children feel curious about the outside world, they will likely ask other people, especially their parents. Parents can combine their knowledge and the Internet to help their children. The method will exert a positive impact on their background knowledge and curiosity. In addition, as a result of some academic applications, parents can effortlessly control their offspring’s progress. For instance, when testing the young through some apps like Quizziz or Kahoot, parents will be able to see their weaknesses. After that, parents can notice these mistakes and gradually assist them. As a result, the young will improve their studies significantly. Moreover, the students won’t be shy when they study with the help of the Internet. When finding incomprehensible lessons, students can search for help on some educational websites. This is extremely helpful since they can be assisted by many excellent teachers who are able to help them to get through these problems. Because of studying online, the children won’t feel any embarrassment when they do something wrong. Consequently, they will not become too stressed, and they will be able to comprehend the lessons properly. For example, many studies show that 65% of students find it’s easier to do a complicated exercise online than being observed by their teachers directly. Therefore, it is better for the young to study online, especially in a dangerous pandemic. However, some people don’t have the same idea. They think that only students can study well when they study directly with their teachers. It is true because they can learn in a specific course, with an overall observation from their teachers. It will help them to study seriously and have a full consideration about a topic. Moreover, by learning like this, teachers will have time to show their best to their students and explain the exercise clearly. In conclusion, both views have their own pros and cons. However, the former idea outweighs the latter. In my opinion, students should try to combine all of these methods appropriately to develop their studies wholly.
“Whether” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Whether
should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
remains controversial.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
give their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
that they can educate their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
at home by dint of modern technology, whereas others
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that this can
be happened
effectively
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
. It seems that I partly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the former one.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, thanks to technology and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
and discover much more things in life. When
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
feel curious about the outside world, they will likely ask other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
,
especially
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Parents
can combine their knowledge and the Internet to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. The method will exert a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
impact on their background knowledge and curiosity.
In addition
,
as a result
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
academic applications,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
can
effortlessly
control their offspring’s progress.
For instance
, when testing the young through
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
apps like
Possible spelling mistake found.
Quizziz
or Kahoot,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
will be able to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
their weaknesses. After that,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
can notice these mistakes and
gradually
assist them.
As a result
, the young will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studies
significantly
.

Moreover
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
won’t be shy when they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
of the Internet. When finding incomprehensible lessons,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
can search for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
on
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
educational websites. This is
extremely
helpful since they can
be assisted
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
excellent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
who are able to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
through these problems.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
of studying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
won’t feel any embarrassment when they do something
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
.
Consequently
, they will not become too
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stressed
, and they will be able to comprehend the lessons
properly
.
For example
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studies
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
that 65% of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
find it’s easier to do a complicated exercise
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
than
being observed
by their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
directly
.
Therefore
, it is better for the young to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
,
especially
in a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
pandemic.

However
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
don’t have the same
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
. They
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
well when they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
directly
with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
. It is true
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they can learn in a specific course, with an
overall
observation from their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
. It will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
them to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
seriously
and have a full consideration about a topic.
Moreover
, by learning like this,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
will have time to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
their best to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
the exercise
clearly
.

In conclusion
, both views have their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
pros and cons.
However
, the former
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
outweighs the latter. In my opinion,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
should try to combine all of these methods
appropriately
to develop their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studies
wholly.
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IELTS essay Some parents think that they can take advantage of modern technology to educate their children at home. Others argue that the learning process can only be facilitated with the appearance of teachers. Which opinion are you in favour of? Why?

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
401 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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