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The presence of technology in the classroom has become more and more apparent and offers students tremendous resources with which to supplement their education. v.6

The presence of technology in the classroom has become more and more apparent and offers students tremendous resources with which to supplement their education. v. 6
Technology is increasingly being used throughout the world. Thus it is apparent in classrooms as well. It is quite unrealistic that technology will replace teachers in future. This will be proven by analysing how teachers can cater to student needs as well as motivate and discipline them in the classroom. An Important factor in teaching is the ability of teachers to shape teaching style as per the students’ requirement. As an example, if a student does not understand any of the topics being taught in the classroom, the teacher can make them understand by rephrasing the topic. The computerised teacher will not be able to understand what the students require and thus technology will not replace teachers. Motivation and discipline are key factors in teaching for any student's academic success. This is very important in classrooms as the children need to be taught motivation and discipline very effectively. A teacher only could do this when the student requires it. A computer-based teacher will not be able to accomplish this as there is a judgment needed to understand if the student is acting in an inappropriate manner which teacher could do. Hence it is clear that students need teachers. Following the analysis of the ability of teachers catering as well as motivation and discipline to the students, it is clear that teachers are always needed in the classroom for student's success and hence technology will never replace them. In future technology will be used in the classroom by the students, but it will not take over the classroom.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Technology
is
increasingly
being
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
throughout the world.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Thus
it is apparent in classrooms
as well
. It is quite unrealistic that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
will replace
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
Did you mean: "in the future"?
in future
. This will
be proven
by
Possible spelling mistake. 'analysing' is British English.
analysing
how
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
can cater to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
needs
as well
as motivate and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
discipline
them in the classroom.

An
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Important
factor in teaching is the ability of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
to shape teaching style as per the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students’
requirement. As an example, if a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
does not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
understand
any of the topics
being taught
in the classroom, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teacher
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
understand
by rephrasing the topic. The
Possible spelling mistake. 'computerised' is British English.
computerised
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teacher
will not be able to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
understand
what the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
require and
thus
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
will not replace teachers.

Motivation and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
discipline
are key factors in teaching for any student's academic success. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
in classrooms as the children need to
be taught
motivation and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
discipline
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
effectively
. A
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teacher
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
could do this when the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
requires it. A computer-based
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teacher
will not be able to accomplish this as there is a judgment needed to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
understand
if the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
is acting
Consider replacing "in an inappropriate manner" with the adverb for "inappropriate"; e.g., "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
in an inappropriate manner
which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teacher
could do.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Hence
it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
need teachers.

Following the analysis of the ability of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
catering
as well
as motivation and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
discipline
to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
are always needed in the classroom for student's success and
hence
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
will never replace them. In future
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
will be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
in the classroom by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it will not take over the classroom.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
32Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Mistakes

IELTS essay The presence of technology in the classroom has become more and more apparent and offers students tremendous resources with which to supplement their education. v. 6

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
257 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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