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The possibility of a life on other planets is something that is being considered in some circles. Some people believe that we should invest more money and effort on researching other planets to make sure we are better prepared for establishing life in such places. To what extent do you agree or disagree to this statement?

The possibility of a life on other planets is something that is being considered in some circles. Some people believe that we should invest more money and effort on researching other planets to make sure we are better prepared for establishing life in such places. to this statement? 1bLMG
In this modern era, people are inquisitive to know/find out the existence of living things on other plants for an extended period. Some people think that investing more money in researching this sector will make us sustainable, as well as will turn us into an enriched nation in knowledge. I have to agree almost entirely with the given statement. On the one hand of the arguments, due to scientific advancement, developed nations have the capability to discover new planets through modern technologies. We have several logical reasons to perform this costly/precious/high-priced/expensive task. For example, ozone layer depletion is one of the burning issues which are happening for global warming which causes frustration for all people. This is because, if it is on the rise then we will not have the land to survive on the earth. This is the only way is that if we get a new space on another planet that resembles our plan, will give us hope to survive. Besides this, we can obtain advanced technology by which we are able to maintain our lives better. Moreover, it will be more feasible to share knowledge, which might, in turn, create a sustainable world and makes us happy. On the other hand, others tend to oppose the view and they are quite reluctant to spend more funds and seem that this arduous task is completely imaginary and unrealistic. Investing in valuable sectors such as education, treatment, science etc. , are a more sensible and wise decision than spending on discovering other planets. If we continue spending cash in this way, it will aggravate our economy and cause trouble in this poor world. To sum up, after having discussed the pertinent points related to that issue, the only logical conclusion is that though this might cause a little bit financial problem, this will solve the many more intricate ones and makes our lives easier.
In this modern era,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are inquisitive to know/find out the existence of living things on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
plants for an extended period.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that investing more money in researching this sector will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
us sustainable,
as well
as will turn us into an enriched nation in knowledge. I
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
almost
entirely
with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
statement.

On the one hand of the arguments, due to scientific advancement, developed nations have the capability to discover new planets through modern technologies. We have several logical reasons to perform this costly/precious/high-priced/expensive task.
For example
, ozone layer depletion is one of the burning issues which are happening for global warming which causes frustration for all
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
, if it is on the rise then we will not have the land to survive on the earth. This is the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
way is that if we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a new space on another planet that resembles our plan, will give us hope to survive.
Besides
this, we can obtain advanced technology by which we are able to maintain our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
better.
Moreover
, it will be more feasible to share knowledge, which might, in turn, create a sustainable world and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
us happy.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, others tend to oppose the
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
view and
they are quite reluctant to spend more funds and seem that this arduous task is completely imaginary and unrealistic. Investing in valuable sectors such as education, treatment, science etc.
Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
,
are a more sensible and wise decision than spending on discovering
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
planets. If we continue spending cash in this way, it will aggravate our economy and cause trouble in this poor world.

To sum up, after having discussed the pertinent points related to that issue, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
logical conclusion is that though this might cause a
Reduce redundancy by using "little" or "bit".
little bit
financial problem, this will solve the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
more intricate ones and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
easier.
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IELTS essay The possibility of a life on other planets is something that is being considered in some circles. Some people believe that we should invest more money and effort on researching other planets to make sure we are better prepared for establishing life in such places. to this statement?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
315 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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