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Some people prefer to take a gap year between high school and university, to work or to travel. Do the drawbacks outweigh the benefits

Some people prefer to take a gap year between high school and university, to work or to travel. Do the drawbacks outweigh the benefits 1bLOL
There has been a growing trend toward taking a break from study before pursuing university, to work or to travel. In this modern age, taking a gap year has become increasingly popular among high schools leavers in many countries around the world. While there are number of benefits of take a gap year, I strongly believe that drawbacks are greaterOne the hand, taking a break from study pursuing university can be highly beneficial for many reasons. One of the key advantages is that it allows students to enrich life experiences and working skills. For example, students can be learned many new things in society, which can lead to good communication for students and they study how to solve the problem and plan making skills. As a result, this can lay foundation for better knowledge base and have a smoother process of task performance at working place. Without take a gap year, students will have little practical experience, relying on books rather than practice. Another significant factor is that gap year allows seniors to spend more time travelling and immersing themselves in alien cultures, which help them absorb new cultures and practical skills. Take the life abroad as a perfect example. Students would have to quickly adapt to an independent life and learn a new language. On the other hand, I would argue that the advantages of gap year pale in comparison with this disadvantages. Firstly, when taking a break from study before pursuing university, to work or to travel, teenagers take a long time to learn vocation skills. They are overloads by difficulties at work physically demanding jobs frustrates students, falling behind study, as a result. The second drawback tha should be taken into consideration is tha students would struggle to study in class when they have to chase your friends' academic achievements, being distracted from formal schooling
There has been a growing trend toward taking a break from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
pursuing university, to work or to travel. In this modern age, taking a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gap
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
has become
increasingly
popular among high schools leavers in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
countries around the world. While there are number of benefits of take a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gap
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
, I
strongly
believe that drawbacks are
Possible spelling mistake found.
greaterOne
the hand, taking a break from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
pursuing university can be
highly
beneficial for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
reasons. One of the key advantages is that it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to enrich life experiences and working
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
.
For example
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
can
be learned
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
new things in society, which can lead to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
communication for
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
students and
they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
how to solve the problem and plan making
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
.
As a result
, this can lay foundation for better knowledge base and have a smoother process of task performance at working place. Without take a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gap
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
will have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
practical experience, relying on books
rather
than practice. Another significant factor is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gap
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
seniors to spend more time travelling and immersing themselves in alien cultures, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them absorb new cultures and practical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
. Take the life abroad as a perfect example.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Students
would
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
quickly
adapt to an independent life and learn a new language.
On the other hand
, I would argue that the advantages of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gap
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
pale
in comparison
with
Did you mean "these"?
this
disadvantages.
Firstly
, when taking a break from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
pursuing university, to work or to travel,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
take a long time to learn vocation
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
. They are overloads by difficulties at work
physically
demanding jobs frustrates
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
, falling behind
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
,
as a result
. The second drawback
Possible spelling mistake found.
tha
should
be taken
into consideration is
Possible spelling mistake found.
tha
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
would struggle to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
when they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
chase your friends' academic achievements,
being distracted
from formal
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
schooling
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IELTS essay Some people prefer to take a gap year between high school and university, to work or to travel. Do the drawbacks outweigh the benefits

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
307 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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