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the plight of obesity has reached an enormous proportion in many developed countries

the plight of obesity has reached an enormous proportion in many developed countries 3a3OJ
Nowadays, the plight of obesity has reached an enormous proportion in many developed countries. It is believed that taxes on junk food would reduce the problem, I strongly agree with this point of view and i even suppose that there are more solutions of reducing obesity among people. First of all, the main reason why fast food is very popular among people is because of the cheap price. Fast food Is very affordable for people that is why they prefer to buy them rather that healthy and organic food. If the government rose the price of fast food and made the cost the same with healthy food, people would choose organic and healthy meals than junk food. For instance, there are countries where the price of fast food is even higher than others, that is why people frequently give preferences to more healthy food than junk and harmful.
Nowadays, the plight of obesity has reached an enormous proportion in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
developed countries
. It
is believed
that taxes on junk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the problem, I
strongly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this point of view and
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
even suppose that there are more solutions of reducing obesity among
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, the main reason why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
popular among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cheap
price.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
Is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
affordable for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
that is
why they prefer to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
them
rather
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
and organic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
. If the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
rose the price of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
and made the cost the same with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
would choose organic and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
meals than junk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
.
For instance
, there are countries where the price of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
is even higher than others,
that is
why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
frequently
give preferences to more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
than junk and harmful.
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IELTS essay the plight of obesity has reached an enormous proportion in many developed countries

Essay
  American English
2 paragraphs
148 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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