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The plans compare the arrangements of different facilities in the Grange public park between 1920 and now. It is clear that most of the buildings have been renewed to match the modern expectations. Moreover, even an underground car park has been built.

The plans compare the arrangements of different facilities in the Grange public park between 1920 and now. It is clear that most of the buildings have been renewed to match the modern expectations. Moreover, even an underground car park has been built. 7a32X
The plans compare the arrangements of different facilities in the Grange public park between 1920 and now. It is clear that most of the buildings have been renewed to match the modern expectations. Moreover, even an underground car park has been built. Firstly, two of the old buildings, namely the stage for musicians and the fountain, have been removed and expanded to respectively a big amphitheatre for concerts, and a water feature in the southeast area of the plant. Moreover, instead of the pond for water plant, a new children’s play area has been established, with a cafe adjacent to it. Secondly, the seats have been completely rearranged, and their number witnessed a decrease to four from the initials five. Furthermore, the three initials peripheral rose gardens have been moved to a single one in the centre, in the same place where the old fountain resided. However, there is still one rose garden nearby the new amphitheatre, in the same position where it was beforehand. Lastly, the two entrances remained in the same position
The plans compare the arrangements of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
facilities in the Grange public park between 1920 and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
. It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that most of the buildings have
been renewed
to match the modern expectations.
Moreover
, even an underground car park has
been built
.

Firstly
, two of the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
buildings,
namely
the stage for musicians and the fountain, have
been removed
and expanded to
respectively
a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
Possible spelling mistake. 'amphitheatre' is British English.
amphitheatre
for concerts, and a water feature in the southeast area of the plant.
Moreover
,
instead
of the pond for water plant, a new children’s play area has
been established
, with a
'cafe' is an imported foreign expression, which originally has a diacritic. Consider using "café"
cafe
adjacent to it.

Secondly
, the seats have been completely rearranged, and their number witnessed a decrease to four from the initials five.
Furthermore
, the three initials peripheral rose gardens have been
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
moved
to a single one in the
Possible spelling mistake. 'centre' is British English.
centre
, in the same place where the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
fountain resided.
However
, there is
still
one rose garden nearby the new
Possible spelling mistake. 'amphitheatre' is British English.
amphitheatre
, in the same position where it was beforehand.
Lastly
, the two entrances remained in the same position
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IELTS essay The plans compare the arrangements of different facilities in the Grange public park between 1920 and now. It is clear that most of the buildings have been renewed to match the modern expectations. Moreover, even an underground car park has been built.

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
173 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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