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Music is considered to be a way to connect people from different cultures and ages. Do you agree or disagree?

Music is considered to be a way to connect people from different cultures and ages. 3abmd
Music can be regarded as a universal language that act to be a media to communicate between people from various cultures and age groups. In this passage, the different points of view is discussed. For people coming from different places and countries, it is often difficult to communicate verbally without a common language. There is an observation that music can act as a common media for communication between these people. It is considered as an universal language in which people can share among themselves. It is also true between different age groups. Young people can have a good time with their senior family members listening to classical or old Jazz music, while some elderly people enjoy rock music with their grandchildren. In this way music act magically in making inter-cultural and inter-generation connections. On the other hand, for some instances music may not be easily appreciated by the general public. For examples some specific cultural music like chinese operas, hindu songs, and tunes from high-mountain people in Himalayas. As for music among different age groups it is known to be very diverse, from the elderly's favourate oldies of traditional classical music to hard-rock contemporary music for the teenagers. It is hard for a classical music lover to appreciate the tunes from rock-star performances. It can be said that music is very much up to personal tastes and interests. To conclude, music can act a common media to connect people from different cultures and ages, this is true for general easily-listening music. However the same may not be applied to specific cultural music.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Music
can
be regarded
as a universal language that
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act
to be
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "a medium" or simply "media"?
a media
to communicate between
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people
from various cultures and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
groups. In this passage, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
points of view
is discussed
.

For
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people
coming from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
places and countries, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
difficult to communicate
verbally
without a common language. There is an observation that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
act
as a common media for communication between these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. It
is considered
as
Use "a" instead of 'an' if the following word doesn't start with a vowel sound, e.g. 'a sentence', 'a university'
an
universal language in which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can share among themselves. It is
also
true between
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different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
groups. Young
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people
can have a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
time with their senior family members listening to classical or
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
Jazz
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music
, while
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
elderly
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people
enjoy rock
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music
with their grandchildren. In this way
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music
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act
magically
in making inter-cultural and inter-generation connections.

On the other hand
, for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
Apostrophe might be missing. Did you mean "instances'" or "instance's"?
instances
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music
may not be
easily
appreciated by the
Consider using "public".
general public
. For examples
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
specific cultural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
like
Possible spelling mistake found.
chinese
operas,
Possible spelling mistake found.
hindu
songs, and tunes from high-mountain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
A determiner is probably missing here: "in the Himalayas".
in Himalayas
. As for
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music
among
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different
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age
groups it
is known
to be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
diverse, from the elderly's
Possible spelling mistake found.
favourate
oldies of traditional classical
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music
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
-rock contemporary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
for the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
. It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
for a classical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
lover to appreciate the tunes from rock-star performances. It can
be said
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
much up to personal tastes and interests.

To conclude
,
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music
can
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act
a common media to connect
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from
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different
cultures and
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ages
, this is true for general
easily
-listening
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
However
the same may not
be applied
to specific cultural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
.
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IELTS essay Music is considered to be a way to connect people from different cultures and ages.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
262 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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