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The plans below show a public park when it first opened in 1920 and the same park today.

The plans below show a public park when it first opened in 1920 and the same park today. 6eoG
The plans illustrates Grange Park in 1920, when it opened and today The park connects  Eldon street with Arnold avenue and has 2 entrances to each of them. Modern park has one more entrance, it's  underground car park entrance. There was a fountain, but now there is a rose garden, surrounded with 4 seats in the center of park. On the left of Eldon street entrance there was stage for musicians  and on the right was Glasshouse. In contemporary park  stage of musicians was replaced with amphitheatre  and  glasshouse  with water feature. Today there is  an are for children and cafe opposite  the water feature, although at the first time there was pond and rose garden.
The plans
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illustrates
Grange
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Park
in 1920, when it opened and
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today


The
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park
connects
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Eldon street with Arnold avenue and has 2
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entrances
to each of them.

Modern
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park
has one more
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entrance
, it's
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underground car
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park
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entrance
. There was a fountain,
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but
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
there is a rose garden, surrounded with 4 seats in the center of park.

On the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
of Eldon street
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entrance
there was stage for musicians
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
 
and on the right was Glasshouse. In contemporary park
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stage of musicians
was replaced
with
Possible spelling mistake. 'amphitheatre' is British English.
amphitheatre
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and
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glasshouse
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with water feature.
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Today
there is
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Did you mean "and are"?
an are
for children and
'cafe' is an imported foreign expression, which originally has a diacritic. Consider using "café"
cafe
opposite
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
 
the water feature, although at the
first
time there was pond and rose garden.

IELTS essay The plans below show a public park when it first opened in 1920 and the same park today.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
116 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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