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Many people believe that social networking sites (such as Facebook) have a negative impact on both individuals and society. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

Many people believe that social networking sites (such as Facebook) have a negative impact on both individuals and society. Nxr0
It is argued that the advent of social media platforms, mainly, Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram, in the early 21st century have a devastating effect on the community and the individuals. I strongly agree with this argument due to several reasons that I will discuss in greater detail in my essay. Social networking sites hurt individuals, by supplanting more active forms of enjoyment with transitory and unhealthy self-esteem boosts. Prior to arise of social media, human beings tend to engage in active hobbies such as playing a sport, painting, or learning to play a musical instrument. Over time, those recreational activities improve not only physical well-being but also offer opportunities for relaxation and healthy personal growth. However, Individuals at present, are preoccupied due to excessive use of social network platforms to such a degree that they no longer gather for worthwhile social activities. one good illustration of this is the number of Facebook users is about to exceed 2 billion who are stuck in the loop just for temporary pleasure and validation. Just as social media has undoubtedly hurt individuals, it has taken its toll on society evident by lack of social interaction and community spirit. It a common refrain to hear older people complaining about how generations today are narcissists and glued to their phones in contrast to what people used to do a decade ago such as volunteering in community centers. There is an element of truth in this. online chatting groups are certainly not the same as real interaction with real human beings and don’t involve the same social skills. it is coming to a norm of modern society for people to be withdrawn and anonymous in the communities with poor judgments that they have less in common with their fellow members. Eventually, the society will become fragmented and more insular with deeply complex social, individual, and political consequences. In Conclusion, the rise of social network sites has hurt individuals and society greatly. In order to address this, people must use such online platforms more judiciously while maintaining better interaction with the real human being. (Words -347)
It
is argued
that the advent of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
media platforms,
mainly
, Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram, in the early 21st century have a devastating effect on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
. I
strongly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this argument due to several reasons that I will discuss in greater detail in my essay.

Social networking sites hurt
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
, by supplanting more active forms of enjoyment with transitory and unhealthy self-esteem boosts. Prior to arise of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
media, human beings tend to engage in active hobbies such as playing a sport, painting, or learning to play a musical instrument. Over time, those recreational activities
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
physical well-being
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
offer opportunities for relaxation and healthy personal growth.
However
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Individuals
at present,
are preoccupied
due to excessive
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
network platforms to such a degree that they no longer gather for worthwhile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
activities.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
one
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
illustration of this is the number of Facebook users is about to exceed 2 billion who
are stuck
in the loop
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
for temporary pleasure and validation.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Just
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
media has
undoubtedly
hurt
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
, it has taken its toll on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
evident by lack of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
interaction and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
spirit.
It seems that a verb is missing after "It". Please verify.
It
a common refrain to hear older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
complaining about how generations
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
are narcissists and glued to their phones
in contrast
to what
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to do a decade ago such as volunteering in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
centers. There is an element of truth in this.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
online
chatting groups are
certainly
not the same as real interaction with real human beings and don’t involve the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
it
is coming to a norm of modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to be withdrawn and anonymous in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communities
with poor judgments that they have less in common with their fellow members.
Eventually
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
will become fragmented and more insular with
deeply
complex
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
, and political consequences.

In Conclusion
, the rise of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
network sites has hurt
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
greatly
. In order to address this,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
such online platforms more
judiciously
while maintaining better interaction with the real human being.

(Words -347)
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IELTS essay Many people believe that social networking sites (such as Facebook) have a negative impact on both individuals and society.

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
348 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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