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The pie charts show the results of a survey conducted by a university on the opinions of full-time and part-time students about its services.

The pie charts show the results of a survey conducted by a university on the opinions of full-time and part-time students about its services. NWrE2
The pie charts illustrate the thinking about the university’s services including IT support offered and opening hours between of full-time students and part-time students. In general, what stands out from the charts is that there were a numerous positive feedbacks for opening hours, much more than the IT services. Besides, full-time students tended to sightly more satisfied about both two services than part-time students. Looking at the details, as regards of IT support, over half of full-time students gave a very-happy rating while only twenty percent of part-time students had the same opinion. In contrast, just 15% students studying full-time unsatisfied, compared to 45% of their counterparts. The proportion of both kinds of students being quiet happy were approximate the same, at a third. On other hand, the opening hours got majority of appreciation with noticeable figures were 87% and 72% very-happy feedbacks respectively, 1% and 5% not-at-all reporteds as well. Finally, the remaining 23% of part- time students felt quiet happy with this service, not too much differs with 12% of the counterparts.
The pie charts illustrate the thinking about the university’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
including IT support offered and opening hours between of full-time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
and part-time students.

In general
, what stands out from the charts is that there were a numerous
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "feedback"?
feedbacks
for opening hours, much more than the IT
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
.
Besides
, full-time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
tended to
sightly
more satisfied about both two
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
than part-time students.

Looking at the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
, as regards of IT support, over half of full-time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
gave a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
-happy rating while
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
twenty percent of part-time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
had the same opinion.
In contrast
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
15%
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
studying full-time unsatisfied, compared to 45% of their counterparts. The proportion of both kinds of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
being
Did you mean "quite"? 'quiet' means 'silent', 'quite' mean 'very' or 'to a moderate extent'
quiet
happy were approximate the same, at a third. On other hand, the opening hours
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
It seems that an article is missing.
majority of
appreciation with noticeable figures were 87% and 72%
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
-happy feedbacks
respectively
, 1% and 5% not-at-all
Possible spelling mistake found.
reporteds
as well
.
Finally
, the remaining 23% of part- time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
felt quiet happy with this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
service
, not too much differs with 12% of the counterparts.
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IELTS essay The pie charts show the results of a survey conducted by a university on the opinions of full-time and part-time students about its services.

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
174 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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