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Some people believe that university students should pay their full university fees themselves as they benefit from having university studies and not society as a whole. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people believe that university students should pay their full university fees themselves as they benefit from having university studies and not society as a whole. 9YLbn
More often, it is believed by some people that the university fees are paid by students themselves as they benefit from having higher education, not the community. I could not find enough reason to agree with the given notion as many students come from poor families and have a large number of educated communities, it's beneficial for the country. The major reason why I oppose this trend is many students are belonging to low-income families. There are clever as well as talented people but due to money issues in their family, they are not able to study. For instance, One recent survey of Cambridge University says, after completing school, 54 % of students choose work rather than university education due to lack of money. Moreover, the university fees are far higher. so, at that time small funding is more important and helpful because needy students can achieve their dreams. Furthermore, having an educated community in a nation is a benefit for any country. Educated people like doctors, engineers, teachers, etcetera are directly helpful in the development of a country. Moreover, the earning of educated people is a well good and that's directly helpful in country's economy. For example, 7 out of 10 people are well educated in developed countries. Moreover, skilled people's productivity is more efficient and as a result, sometimes they innovate something new that's effectively helpful for the country on a large scale. To conclude, In society, few people think that students should pay their university fees by themselves. I, however, strongly believe that the small amount of funding is helpful for poor families learners as well as for governments it is a one-time investment only for a better future.
More
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
, it
is believed
by
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some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
fees
are paid
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
themselves as they benefit from having higher education, not the community. I could not find
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
reason to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
notion as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
from poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
and have
Specify a number, remove phrase, or simply use "many" or "numerous"
a large number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
educated
communities, it's beneficial for the country.

The major reason why I oppose this trend is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
The verb 'belonging' is a stative verb and sometimes the progressive form is not correct. Try a simple form instead.
are belonging
to low-income
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
. There are clever as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
well
as talented
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
due to money issues in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
, they are not able to study.
For instance
, One recent survey of Cambridge
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
University
says, after completing school, 54 % of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
choose work
rather
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
education due to lack of money.
Moreover
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
fees are far higher.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
so
, at that time
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
funding is more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helpful
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
needy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
can achieve their dreams.

Furthermore
, having an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
educated
community in a nation is a benefit for any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Educated
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
like doctors, engineers, teachers, etcetera are
directly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helpful
in the development of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
.
Moreover
, the earning of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
educated
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
is a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
well
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
and that's
directly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helpful
in country's economy.
For example
, 7 out of 10
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
well
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
educated
in developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
.
Moreover
, skilled
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's productivity is more efficient and
as a result
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
they innovate something new that's
effectively
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helpful
for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
on a large scale.

To conclude
, In society, few
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
should pay their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
fees by themselves. I,
however
,
strongly
believe that the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
amount of funding is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helpful
for poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
learners as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
well
as for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
it is a one-time investment
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
for a better future.
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IELTS essay Some people believe that university students should pay their full university fees themselves as they benefit from having university studies and not society as a whole.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
282 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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  • Some people believe that university students should pay their full university fees themselves as they benefit from having university studies and not society as a whole. To what extent do you agree or disagree?