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The pie charts display the percentage of British scholar in one University in England who able to speak a foreign languages other than English in comparing year in 2000 and 2010.

The pie charts display the percentage of British scholar in one University in England who able to speak a foreign languages other than English in comparing year in 2000 and 2010. jb2VL
The pie charts display the percentage of British scholar in one University in England who able to speak a foreign languages other than English in comparing year in 2000 and 2010. Generally, there were similar trends of British scholar who spoke Spanish in 2000 and 2010. There were increasing number in Spanish language and the other two languages. Following this, in 2000, it clearly that most of British scholar able to spoke a Spanish with nearly one-third (30%). However, one-fifth(20%) of student not able to spoke other foreign languages. There were two type of group that reached the third place, it were French language and another language has similar percentage by 15%. While minority of student could speak German and two other languages accounted for 10% for each group. On the contrary, in 2010, the number of scholar who spoke Spanish increased slightly by more than one-third (35%). While a fifth (20%) of scholar in England can spoke French only. The growth number of scholars who can speak two other languages accounted for 15% climbed slightly from the last decades. There were three group, namely, German language, no other language, and another language were accounted similar by 10% for each group.
The pie charts display the percentage of British
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scholar
in one University in England
A noun should not follow 'who'. Try changing to a verb or maybe to "who is a able".
who able
to speak a foreign
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languages
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other
than English in comparing year in 2000 and 2010.

Generally
, there were similar trends of British
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scholar
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who
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spoke
Spanish in 2000 and 2010. There were increasing number in Spanish
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language
and the
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other
two languages.

Following this, in 2000, it
clearly
that most of British
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scholar
able to
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spoke
a Spanish with
nearly
one-third (30%).
However
, one-fifth(20%) of student not able to
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spoke
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other
foreign
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languages
. There were two type of group that reached the third place, it were French
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language
and another
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language
has similar percentage by 15%. While minority of student could speak German and two
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other
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languages
accounted for 10% for each group.

On the contrary
, in 2010, the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
scholar
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
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spoke
Spanish increased
slightly
by more than one-third (35%).
“While” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
While
a fifth (20%) of
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scholar
in England can
This form is ambiguous and can be used as past tense. Confirm that you are using the intended base form of the main verb after 'to do' as an auxiliary verb..
spoke
French
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
. The growth number of
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scholars
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who
can speak two
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other
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languages
accounted for 15% climbed
slightly
from the last decades. There were three group,
namely
, German
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language
, no
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other
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language
, and another
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language
were accounted
similar by 10% for each group.
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IELTS essay The pie charts display the percentage of British scholar in one University in England who able to speak a foreign languages other than English in comparing year in 2000 and 2010.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
201 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
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