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Superstitions, good luck, and bad luck in my country

Superstitions, good luck, and bad luck in my country 9lXBn
There are numerous kinds of superstitions in the world. A number of them relate to history and culture, and others are just coming from imagination. Elder people, such as my grandmother, respect good or bad luck charms more than teenagers. Less or more, superstitions are a peice of life puzzle in my country. Do you truly believe that some charms make you lucky? Here in Iran, it is extensively accepted that if someone wears a ring which includes a specific stone, then he or she would be reserved from ominous incidents. Therefore, we obviously see hundreds of thousands of old people who have worn those geeky rings. When it comes to bad luck, you should avoid involving several conditions. Broom is a typical kind of household stuff. Nevertheless, it has been recognized as an evil device. I have overheard that if a person touches the downside of a broom, which is like a comb, it’s probable that his or her mother dies. As a matter of fact, lots of unfortunate consequences are related to the death of mothers. Superstitious personality is a part of society in Iran. Several people believe some charms bring them good luck, and some can cause unfortunate situations. If only a number of scientists could clarify the prime concept of these beliefs. In my point of view, I don’t feel like ceasing to trust or debunk the superstitions; but I hope you explore your thoughts and attitudes before enforcing.
There are numerous kinds of superstitions in the world. A number of them relate to history and culture,
and others
are
just
coming from imagination. Elder
people
, such as my grandmother, respect
good
or
bad
luck charms more than
teenagers
. Less or more, superstitions are a
peice
of life puzzle in my country.

Do you
truly
believe that
some
charms
make
you lucky? Here in Iran, it is
extensively
accepted
that if someone wears a ring which includes a specific stone, then he or she would
be reserved
from ominous incidents.
Therefore
, we
obviously
see
hundreds of thousands of
old
people
who have worn those geeky rings.

When it
comes
to
bad
luck, you should avoid involving several conditions. Broom is a typical kind of household stuff.
Nevertheless
, it has
been recognized
as an evil device. I have overheard that if a person touches the downside of a broom, which is like a comb, it’s probable that
his or her
mother
dies
. As a matter of fact, lots of unfortunate consequences
are related
to the death of mothers.

Superstitious personality is a part of society in Iran. Several
people
believe
some
charms bring them
good
luck, and
some
can cause unfortunate situations. If
only
a number of scientists could clarify the prime concept of these beliefs. In my point of view, I don’t feel like ceasing to trust or debunk the superstitions;
but
I hope you explore your thoughts and attitudes
before
enforcing.
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IELTS essay Superstitions, good luck, and bad luck in my country

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
243 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
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    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
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  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
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    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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