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The pie charts below show reasons why people left the UK for other countries and why people stayed in the UK. v.1

The pie charts below show reasons why people left the UK for other countries and why people stayed in the UK. v. 1
In the past few decades, the trend of consuming processed food has increased significantly. A delicious meal not only provides us a sense of gratification, but also helps in our growth and survival. Some people are more interested in buying ready meals, whereas, others prefer freshly prepared meal. In my essay I will discuss the merits and demerits of eating convenience meal. The predominant advantage of eating ready-made cuisine is that they are highly convenient for the people who do not have time to cook. Moreover, the people who cannot cook feel blessed to have these ready-made meals available in the markets. We can not only consume them as and when we want, but can also store them for the future avail. Additionally, it is easier to carry them as they are properly processed and packaged to increase the ease of consumption. What is more, their nutritional value is also maintained by the manufacturing companies while processing. As far as drawbacks are concerned, prepackaged foods generally contain a high amount of salt and added sugar. Moreover, a lot of chemical preservatives are used in order to keep them fresh and consumable. These foods often contain fat like unsaturated fat and trans fat in order to provide them longer shelf life. As a result, people often develop the risk of having diseases like diabetes, obesity, and high cholesterol etc. To conclude, certainly, the processed foods can be a time-saving and a convenient option for the consumers. Nevertheless, they are still unhealthy. People should not compromise with their health for the sake of their time and comforts. In my view, ready-made meals have both their benefits and drawbacks, but the drawback of being unhealthy outweighs all benefits.
In the past few decades, the trend of consuming processed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
has increased
significantly
. A delicious
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meal
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
provides us a sense of gratification,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
in our growth and survival.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are more interested in buying ready
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meals
, whereas, others prefer
freshly
prepared
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meal
. In my essay I will discuss the merits and demerits of eating convenience meal.

The predominant advantage of eating ready-made cuisine is that they are
highly
convenient for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who do not have time to cook.
Moreover
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who cannot cook feel blessed to have these ready-made
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meals
available in the markets. We can not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
consume them as and when we want,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
can
also
store them for the future avail.
Additionally
, it is easier to carry them as they are
properly
processed and packaged to increase the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ease
of consumption.
What is more
, their nutritional value is
also
maintained by the manufacturing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
while processing.

As far as drawbacks
are concerned
, prepackaged
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
generally
contain a high amount of salt and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
added
sugar.
Moreover
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
chemical preservatives are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
them fresh and consumable. These
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
contain
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fat
like unsaturated
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fat
and trans
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fat
in order to provide them longer shelf life.
As a result
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
develop the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
of having diseases like diabetes, obesity, and high cholesterol etc.

To conclude
,
certainly
, the processed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
can be a time-saving and a convenient option for the consumers.
Nevertheless
, they are
still
unhealthy.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
should not compromise with their health for the sake of their time and comforts. In my view, ready-made
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meals
have both their benefits and drawbacks,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the drawback of being unhealthy outweighs all benefits.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay The pie charts below show reasons why people left the UK for other countries and why people stayed in the UK. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
285 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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