Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

The picture below demonstrates the hydroelectric power station and the electricity which is generated at it. as it can be seen from diagram, the process of generating electricity consists of four reversible stages. Firstly, the water from river enters the v.1

The picture below demonstrates the hydroelectric power station and the electricity which is generated at it. as it can be seen from diagram, the process of generating electricity consists of four reversible stages. Firstly, the water from river enters the v. 1
Nowadays, a growth in the rate of juvenile delinquency has received a great deal of public attention. Although this problem can be attributed to a whole host of reasons, some feasible solutions can be considered to address this. There are a number of compelling reasons why juvenile crimes tend to increase significantly. First, since the social media offer many questionable contents, like violent games and movies, young people tend to imitate the violent scenes. In fact, young adults can become aggressive after watching these programs too much, which leads to solving all the conflicts by violence. Second, adolescents are targeted by drug dealers as drug trafficking has become rampant. Plenty of evidence suggests that the human brain is susceptible to negative influences of drugs, thus making the youth desire to commit crimes after getting high. Nevertheless, there are not without workable solutions for that. First, TV programs' content must be carefully censored before being allowed to broadcast on TV or be posted on social networks. In fact, this will reduce the exposure of questionable contents in adolescents, leading to the decrease rate of crimes in the future. Second, by imposing strict and severe sanctions on drug trafficking, the crime rate will also decrease significantly. For example, drug dealers and users will be sent into prison as well as be socially isolated, which acts as a deterrent to everyone in society. In conclusion, there are various reasons why the rate of juvenile crime tends to increase significantly. But, this negative problem can be tackled by set of appropriate solutions
Nowadays, a growth in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rate
of juvenile delinquency has received a great deal of public attention. Although this problem can
be attributed
to a whole host of reasons,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
feasible solutions can
be considered
to address this.

There are a number of compelling reasons why juvenile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
tend to increase
significantly
.
First
, since the social media offer
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
questionable contents, like violent games and movies, young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
tend to imitate the violent scenes. In fact, young adults can become aggressive after watching these programs too much, which leads to solving all the conflicts by violence. Second, adolescents
are targeted
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drug
dealers as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drug
trafficking has become rampant.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Plenty
of evidence suggests that the human brain is susceptible to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
influences of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drugs
,
thus
making the youth desire to commit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
after getting high.

Nevertheless
, there are not without
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
workable
solutions for that.
First
, TV programs' content
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be
carefully
censored
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
being
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
to broadcast on TV or
be posted
on social networks. In fact, this will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the exposure of questionable contents in adolescents, leading to the decrease
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rate
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
in the future. Second, by imposing strict and severe sanctions on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drug
trafficking, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rate
will
also
decrease
significantly
.
For example
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drug
dealers and users will be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sent
into prison
as well
as be
socially
isolated, which acts as a deterrent to everyone in society.

In conclusion
, there are various reasons why the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rate
of juvenile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
tends to increase
significantly
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
, this
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
problem can
be tackled
by set of appropriate solutions
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
Knowledge of languages is the doorway to wisdom.
Roger Bacon

IELTS essay The picture below demonstrates the hydroelectric power station and the electricity which is generated at it. as it can be seen from diagram, the process of generating electricity consists of four reversible stages. Firstly, the water from river enters the v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
257 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts