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The person in life that you admire the most

The person in life that you admire the most gqRMA
Obviously, during the whole life, people meet different personalities. There are those, they forget about, but there is someone who remains in the heart forever. Speaking about me, I have such a person and it’s Angelina Melnikova, an outstanding sport gymnast from Russia. Actually, there are lot of things I can tell about her but the main things I admire Angelina for is her beauty, character and devotion. To begin with, she has a pretty appearance. She is young as she is only 21 years old. In general, she is well-built. She is relatively medium height and she is extremely slim. Angelina is blonde with long, straight hair. Her eyes are large and blue like the ocean besides they look mesmerizing. Her smile is awesome, charming and sincere. As for her dressing style, then it depends on the occasion. For example, in daily life, she prefers casual clothes, but if she goes somewhere, she puts on elegant clothes and impresses the audience with her outfit. Overall, she is a beautiful girl. Following, her traits of character live nobody alone. First of all, she is a hard-working girl and a committed person. She never stops if she has a goal, she always goes ahead no matter what circumstances are on her way. Secondly, she is a versatile person. In her free time, she learns foreign languages, reads a wide range of books, creates sketches of new leotards, and has a blog where she shows her life. Thirdly, Angelina is a kind and sympathetic person as she is ready to help in any time. Moreover, she always does a charity work and helps children with fatal diseases. All in all, this girl has a wind range of character features. The last but not the least is her devotion to sport and believe in herself. I admire this girl for being persistent about everything she does. Actually, she had a dream of becoming an Olympic champion but she lost her first Olympic Games and after that moment her sport career was full of ups and downs. She lost a lot of competitions, she had some injuries that prevented her from being at the top, nevertheless she never stopped, overcame every single hardship and finally after 5 years she managed to fulfill her dream and become the Olympic champion. Overall, it’s an example of a person with a strong spirit. In conclusion, Angelina is a girl who won’t leave me indifferent, she is the person I admire. It means that she is a devoted person, a person who never betrays herself, who goes straight to the goal and stays the course.
Obviously
, during the whole life,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
personalities. There are those, they forget about,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
there is someone
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
remains in the heart forever. Speaking about me, I have such a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
and it’s Angelina
Possible spelling mistake found.
Melnikova
, an outstanding sport gymnast from Russia. Actually, there are
It seems that an article is missing.
lot of
things I can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tell
about her
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the main things I admire Angelina for is her beauty, character and devotion.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, she has a pretty appearance. She is young as she is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
21 years
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
.
In general
, she is well-built. She is
relatively
medium height and she is
extremely
slim. Angelina is blonde with long, straight hair. Her eyes are large and blue like the ocean
besides
they look mesmerizing. Her smile is awesome, charming and sincere. As for her dressing style, then it depends on the occasion.
For example
, in daily life, she prefers casual clothes,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
if she goes somewhere, she puts on elegant clothes and impresses the audience with her outfit.
Overall
, she is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
beautiful
girl.

Following, her traits of character
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
nobody alone.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, she is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
-working
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
girl
and a committed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
. She never
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stops
if she has a goal, she always goes ahead no matter what circumstances are on her way.
Secondly
, she is a versatile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
. In her free time, she learns foreign languages, reads a wide range of books, creates sketches of new leotards, and has a blog where she
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
her life.
Thirdly
, Angelina is a kind and sympathetic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
as she is ready to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
in any time.
Moreover
, she always does a charity work and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
children with fatal diseases. All in all, this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
girl
has a wind range of character features.

The last
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not the least is her devotion to sport and believe in herself. I admire this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
girl
for being persistent about everything she does. Actually, she had a dream of becoming an Olympic champion
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
she lost her
first
Olympic Games and after that moment her sport career was full of ups and downs. She lost
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
competitions, she had
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
injuries that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevented
her from being at the top,
nevertheless
she never
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stopped
, overcame every single hardship and
finally
after 5 years she managed to fulfill her dream and become the Olympic champion.
Overall
, it’s an example of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
with a strong spirit.

In conclusion
, Angelina is a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
girl
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
won’t
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
me indifferent, she is the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
I admire. It means that she is a devoted
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
never betrays herself,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
goes straight to the goal and stays the course.
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IELTS essay The person in life that you admire the most

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
437 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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