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The percentage of 3 types of crimes: car theft, house burglary & street robbery in England & Wales from 1970 to 2015 v.1

The percentage of 3 types of crimes: car theft, house burglary & street robbery in England & Wales from 1970 to 2015 v. 1
The excellent performance of the staff in an organization is usually rewarded in various ways and monetary rewards to the best performer are on increasing trend these days in most of the organizations. Although it motivates the employees to work harder, however, some people are of opinion that such rewards execute a negative impact on other workers. In my viewpoint, extra money along with other ways of motivation will encourage the working personnel to perform better. Firstly, all the workers working in an organization has only one objective- to earn money. No matter how cordially we may deny the fact, we work in order to get the money which is paid to us on weekly or monthly basis. To fulfil various personal or social needs, money is needed and the extra money earned by being the best performer is going to make the things easier and is the best motivation to work more and better. Secondly, monetary rewards do not create a negative influence on workers in an organization; rather they are stimulated to become an excellent performer next time. I can exemplify it through my personal experience. I work in a multinational company where best employee of the month gets about Rs. 5000 as a reward and a certificate. It has done wonders in the company, as every member of the team wants to become an achiever to attain prestige and reward, thus bringing a healthy competition in the environment. Also, other kinds of inspirations like appreciation letters, extended holidays and tour tickets can give short-term results, but to ignite the spark of hard-work in staff, money-rewards will have long term affects. Moreover, other types of stimulations have restricted utilization, whereas money can be used as one desires. In a nutshell, it is wise to say that money along with other ways of motivation like an appreciation letter from boss to recognize one’s efforts is surely going to make one work harder and smarter.
The excellent performance of the staff in an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
organization
is
usually
rewarded in various ways and monetary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rewards
to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
best
performer are on increasing trend these days in most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
organizations
. Although it motivates the employees to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
harder,
however
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are of opinion that such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rewards
execute a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impact on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
workers. In my viewpoint, extra
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
along with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
ways of motivation will encourage the working personnel to perform better.

Firstly
, all the workers working in an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
organization
has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
one objective- to earn
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
. No matter how
cordially
we may deny the fact, we
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
which
is paid
to us on weekly or monthly basis. To fulfil various personal or social needs,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
is needed
and the extra
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
earned by being the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
best
performer is going to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the things easier and is the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
best
motivation to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
more and better.

Secondly
, monetary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rewards
do not create a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
influence on workers in an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
organization
;
rather
they
are stimulated
to become an excellent performer
next
time. I can exemplify it through my personal experience. I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
in a multinational
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
where
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
best
employee of the month
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
gets
about Rs. 5000 as a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reward
and a certificate. It has done wonders in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
, as every member of the team wants to become an achiever to attain prestige and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reward
,
thus
bringing a healthy competition in the environment.

Also
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
kinds of inspirations like appreciation letters, extended holidays and tour tickets can give short-term results,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
to ignite the spark of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
-work in staff, money-rewards will have long
Possible agreement error -- use past participle here: "termed".
term
affects.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
types of
Possible spelling mistake found.
stimulations
have restricted utilization, whereas
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
as one desires.

In a nutshell, it is wise to say that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
along with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
ways of motivation like an appreciation letter from boss to recognize one’s efforts is
surely
going to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
harder and smarter.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay The percentage of 3 types of crimes: car theft, house burglary & street robbery in England & Wales from 1970 to 2015 v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
325 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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