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The only way to reduce the amount of traffic in cities is by reducing the need for people to travel from home to work, shopping and education. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answers and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge v.2

The only way to reduce the amount of traffic in cities is by reducing the need for people to travel from home to work, shopping and education. 2
It is often argued that decreasing the demands of transportation is the only key to suppress city congestion. In my opinion, I partly agree with the ideas of reducing people's need to travel, but it is not the only solution for traffic. On one hand, in order to decrease people movement from one place to another by vehicles is by developing a smart city and only could happen with the collaboration of property developers and government. This is an idea of recreating a small area inside a city itself with a lot of properties. However, unlike many developed countries which has a stable and reliable economy to invest in the project, other developing countries are still unable to afford that feature. Due to the high amount of cost and issues which are considered higher in priority than congestion. For example, Jakarta which is the capital city of Indonesia are popular for its daily traffic jam. Even though Indonesia is not considered a poor country, but the amount of money that could be poured are still low compared to education, health, and food supplies. Thus, without enough money and commitment from the government, many developers are unable to trust and invest in this project. That's why, reducing traffic in urban area are not the only and best solution. On the other hand, planning and developing a public transport is still the most favourite method to bring down congestion in a city. One of the main reason of people in urban area choose to use private accomodation is poor facility provided. For instance, city in many developing countries, such as Bangkok, does not have a decent public transportation to use. The buses and trains are not maintained properly and only cover a few routes to explore. Consequently, people will leave public transport and choose to buy their own vehicles. So, the government need to upgrade public transport for people to use. In conclusion, by reducing people needs of transportation is not the only solution for traffic because it is a difficult task to be done. Using public transportation could be the best way to decrease the amount of vehicles used by citizens.
It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
argued that decreasing the demands of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transportation
is the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
key to suppress city congestion. In my opinion, I partly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
of reducing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's need to travel,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it is not the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
solution for traffic.

On one hand, in order to decrease
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
movement from one place to another by vehicles is by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
developing
a smart city and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
could happen with the collaboration of property developers and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
. This is an
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
of recreating a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
area inside a city itself with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
properties.
However
, unlike
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
which has a stable and reliable economy to invest in the project, other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
developing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
are
still
unable to afford that feature. Due to the high amount of cost and issues which
are considered
higher in priority than congestion.
For example
, Jakarta which is the capital city of Indonesia are popular for its daily traffic jam.
Even though
Indonesia is not considered a poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the amount of money that could
be poured
are
still
low compared to education, health, and food supplies.
Thus
, without
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
money and commitment from the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
developers are unable to trust and invest in this project. That's why, reducing traffic in urban area are not the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
and best solution.

On the other hand
, planning and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
developing
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
transport is
still
the most
Possible spelling mistake. 'favourite' is British English.
favourite
method to bring down congestion in a city. One of the main reason of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in urban area choose to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
private
Possible spelling mistake found.
accomodation
is poor facility provided.
For instance
, city in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
developing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
, such as Bangkok, does not have a decent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transportation
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
. The buses and trains are not maintained
properly
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
cover a few routes to explore.
Consequently
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
transport and choose to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
vehicles.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
need to upgrade
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
transport for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
.

In conclusion
, by reducing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
needs of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transportation
is not the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
solution for traffic
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it is a difficult task to
be done
. Using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transportation
could be the best way to decrease the amount of vehicles
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
by citizens.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
9Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9Mistakes
If you talk to a man in a language he understands, that goes to his head. If you talk to him in his own language, that goes to his heart.
Nelson Mandela

IELTS essay The only way to reduce the amount of traffic in cities is by reducing the need for people to travel from home to work, shopping and education. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
360 words
9
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 9.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 9.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 9.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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