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The only way to reduce the amount of traffic in cities today is by reducing the need for people to travel from home for work, education or shopping. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.1

The only way to reduce the amount of traffic in cities today is by reducing the need for people to travel from home for work, education or shopping. v. 1
In a bid to reduce traffic in cities, it is suggested that people should travel less often to their workplace, school, and college or for leisure activities like shopping. Although, I disagree with the suggestion as not everything is accessible at a person’s doorstep. To begin with, the places we commute to like our workplace and our educational institutions help us associate with people. Since, a human being are social beings an association with the other is necessary. In various places and stages interactions are a common phenomena, which helps gain acquaintances and friends. The office we go to give us income to earn our daily bread. The educational institute aids knowledge, which in turn help to get a job in a workplace. The money earned can then be spent on shopping for various goods and materials. All of the above activities go hand-in-hand. If the public becomes immovable, they will have severe health conditions. One of the leading health conditions is obesity. Today, it beats cancer to be the cause of most deaths in the USA. Traffic in front of such a dreadful disease seems like a trivial issue, as human life is vital. There is no doubt that the pollution caused by traffic has adverse effects on the environment but eradication of traffic cannot be the sole solution. In conclusion, solutions as usage of public transport and bicycles should be given and incorporated.
In a bid to
reduce
traffic
in cities, it
is suggested
that
people
should travel less
often
to their workplace, school, and college or for leisure activities like shopping. Although, I disagree with the suggestion as not everything is accessible at a person’s doorstep.

To
begin
with, the places we commute to like our workplace and our educational institutions
help
us associate with
people
.
Since
, a human being are social beings an association with the other is necessary. In various places and stages interactions are a common
phenomena
, which
helps
gain acquaintances and friends. The office we go to give us income to earn our daily bread. The educational institute aids knowledge, which in turn
help
to
get
a job in a workplace.
The
money earned can then
be spent
on shopping for various
goods
and materials.
All of the
above activities go hand-in-hand.

If the public becomes immovable, they will have severe health conditions. One of the leading health conditions is obesity.
Today
, it beats cancer to be the cause of most deaths in the USA.
Traffic
in front of such a dreadful disease seems like a trivial issue, as human life is vital. There is no doubt that the pollution caused by
traffic
has adverse effects on the environment
but
eradication of
traffic
cannot be the sole solution.

In conclusion
, solutions as usage of public transport and bicycles should be
given
and incorporated.
2Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes
A new language is a new life.
Persian Proverb

IELTS essay The only way to reduce the amount of traffic in cities today is by reducing the need for people to travel from home for work, education or shopping. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
235 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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