Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

In some countries an increasing number of people are suffering from health problems as a result of eating too much fast food. It is therefore necessary for governments to impose a higher tax on this kind of food. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v. 110 v.51

In some countries an increasing number of people are suffering from health problems as a result of eating too much fast food. It is therefore necessary for governments to impose a higher tax on this kind of food. v. 110 v. 51
In today’s era, many people are suffering from the obesity which is the result of fast food and sedentary lifestyle. To manage this some people, say that the regime should apply a high tax on such items to manage the health issues. I strongly support this view which helps as individuals and the government as well. To begin with, one of the important reasons is that after imposing an excessive tax on fast food; the state gets the extra income and use that in some recreational activity and educational activity. Use of such money the authority can serve the nation in best way by providing the service. For example, the regime should make gardening in metropolitan, which would be beneficial to all kinds of people from children to old age people. Moreover, people can be motivated to use such service and get relaxation from their routine life, even they can also expand their relation and skills by communicating with different people. The other reason is that, adolescents who, having less pocket money are not able to spend such money on their food expenses. This would be helpful in their later life as they start to eat healthy meal which makes them healthy and energetic. Furthermore, this type of action by the government to make people aware about their health and eating habits. For instance, many people start to eat healthy food such as fruits; the cost of such items is less compared to junk food. Thus, this step would be beneficial to the individual to healthy life and government would provide service. To conclude, to maintain the citizen’s lifestyle is the duty of the authority. So, by taking such steps would be beneficial for the both parties.
In
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
’s era,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are suffering from the obesity which is the result of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
and sedentary lifestyle. To manage this
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, say that the regime should apply a high tax on such items to manage the health issues. I
strongly
support this view which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
as individuals and the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
as well
.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, one of the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
reasons is that after imposing an excessive tax on
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
; the state
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
gets
the extra income and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
that in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
recreational activity and educational activity.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Use
of such money the authority can serve the nation in best way by providing the service.
For example
, the regime should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
gardening in metropolitan, which would be beneficial to all kinds of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from children to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
be motivated
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
such service and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
relaxation from their routine life, even they can
also
expand their relation and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
by communicating with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

The other reason is that, adolescents who, having less pocket money are not able to spend such money on their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
expenses. This would be helpful in their later life as they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
to eat
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
meal which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
them
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
and energetic.
Furthermore
, this type of action by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
aware about their health and eating habits.
For instance
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
to eat
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
such as fruits; the cost of such items is less compared to junk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
.
Thus
, this step would be beneficial to the individual to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
life and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
would provide service.

To conclude
, to maintain the citizen’s lifestyle is the duty of the authority.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, by taking such steps would be beneficial for the both parties.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
9Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9Mistakes

IELTS essay In some countries an increasing number of people are suffering from health problems as a result of eating too much fast food. It is therefore necessary for governments to impose a higher tax on this kind of food. v. 110 v. 51

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
287 words
9
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 9.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 9.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 9.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts