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The only way to reduce the amount of traffic in cities is by reducing the need for people to travel from home to work, shopping and education. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answers and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge v.1

The only way to reduce the amount of traffic in cities is by reducing the need for people to travel from home to work, shopping and education. 1
Traffic congestion has become an alarming situation for almost every city. Some folks believe that reducing the needs for people to travel is the best way to resolve this problem. In my opinion, I agree with this view to some extent as it does not serve as a permanent solution. We should devise new ways to curb this situation permanently. Thanks to the advancements in technology, it is now possible for people to perform various tasks without stepping outside their homes. For example, they can now buy anything online sitting in the realms of their comfort. Apart from this, many organizations blessed their employees to work from home provision. In addition to this, many universities now offer their courses online. By encouraging more students to study online and people to work from their home, the government can reduce the traffic burden on cities on a temporary basis as some people did not have access to the internet and some jobs such as doctors, mechanics and a lot more require physical presence. However, the government should come up with stringent rules and new policies to put a permanent cap on this situation. Firstly, public transport should be promoted by adding new buses and train coaches with wide coverage of various locations in the cities. Thus, this leads to a reduction in the number of vehicles on the road. For instance, Delhi government has reported a drastic decrease in traffic jams with the introduction of metro rail. Eventually, people should step forward and take the initiative to opt cycling and car pooling for local commuting. Therefore, by taking the above measures we can permanently reduce the growing traffic problems. In Conclusion, I assert that limiting people within their boundaries with the help of technology is not a concrete solution to reduce the amount of traffic. By taking the above measures we can permanently get rid of this situation and allow people to enjoy their travelling for their holistic development.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Traffic
congestion has become an alarming
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
situation
for almost every city.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
folks believe that reducing the needs for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to travel is the best way to resolve this problem. In my opinion, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this view to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
extent as it does not serve as a permanent solution. We should devise new ways to curb this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
situation
permanently
.

Thanks to the advancements in technology, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
possible for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to perform various tasks without stepping outside their homes.
For example
, they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
anything online sitting in the realms of their comfort. Apart from this,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
organizations blessed their employees to work from home provision.
In addition
to this,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
universities
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
offer their courses online. By encouraging more students to study online and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to work from their home, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
burden on cities on a temporary basis as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
did not have access to the internet and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
jobs such as doctors, mechanics and a lot more require physical presence.

However
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
up with stringent
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
and new policies to put a permanent cap on this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
situation
.
Firstly
, public transport should
be promoted
by adding new buses and train coaches with wide coverage of various locations in the cities.
Thus
, this leads to a reduction in the number of vehicles on the road.
For instance
, Delhi
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
has reported a drastic decrease in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
jams with the introduction of metro rail.
Eventually
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should step forward and take the initiative to opt cycling and car pooling for local commuting.
Therefore
, by taking the above measures we can
permanently
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the growing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
problems.

In Conclusion
, I assert that limiting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
within their boundaries with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of technology is not a concrete solution to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
. By taking the above measures we can
permanently
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
rid of this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
situation
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to enjoy their travelling for their holistic development.
8.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8.5Mistakes

IELTS essay The only way to reduce the amount of traffic in cities is by reducing the need for people to travel from home to work, shopping and education. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
327 words
8.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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