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The only way to reduce amount of traffic is to reduce needs of people to go work, shopping and education. Do you agree or disagree?

The only way to reduce amount of traffic is to reduce needs of people to go work, shopping and education. E3QNb
In the backgound of the icreasing amount of transport forms there is a belief that such obstacle cannnot be overcome without reduction of people's daily requirements to go some destinations such as office, shops and schools. While I agree that traffic-related problem should be tackled, I cannot support that public needs should be reduced. First of all, if we reduce people's needs, it might lead to other problems that are more superior than the traffic. In other words, work, shopping places and educational institutions play a crucial role in the life of public. For instance, couple years ago I connot go to the university because of some roadworks, and it resulted in visible deterioration in my education. Hence, contraction of going to important public institutions would cause a serious crisis in social sphere. Secondly, shortening commuter's travel to work and other public places is not the only solution to over traffic condition. There some more resolutions to this problem. In some cities, for example in Tashkent, other methods which are more efficient are being disseminating. They are a park-and-ride system, enhancing traffic condition. Thus, while there are some alternative ways to reduce vehicles, we cannot say that limitation of an amount of commuters is the only way. To conclude, I I disagree with the idea of reduction of going to work, universities and shopping malls in order to prevent too many traffic.
In the
backgound
of the
icreasing
amount of transport forms there is a belief that such obstacle
cannnot
be overcome
without reduction of
people
's daily requirements to go
some
destinations such as office, shops and schools. While I
agree
that traffic-related problem should
be tackled
, I cannot support that
public
needs should be
reduced
.

First of all
, if we
reduce
people
's needs, it might lead to
other
problems that are
more superior than
the
traffic
. In
other
words, work, shopping places and educational institutions play a crucial role in the life of
public
.
For instance
, couple years ago I
connot
go to the university
because
of
some
roadworks, and it resulted in visible deterioration in my education.
Hence
, contraction of going to
important
public
institutions would cause a serious crisis in social sphere.

Secondly
, shortening commuter's travel to work and
other
public
places is not the
only
solution to over
traffic
condition. There
some
more resolutions to this problem. In
some
cities,
for example
in Tashkent,
other
methods which are more efficient are being disseminating. They are a park-and-ride system, enhancing
traffic
condition.
Thus
, while there are
some
alternative ways to
reduce
vehicles, we cannot say that limitation of an amount of commuters is the
only
way.

To conclude
,
I I
disagree with the
idea
of reduction of going to work, universities and shopping malls in order to
prevent
too
many
traffic
.
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IELTS essay The only way to reduce amount of traffic is to reduce needs of people to go work, shopping and education.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
232 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
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    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
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  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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