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the only way to improve road safety is stricter punishments. do you agree or disagree

the only way to improve road safety is stricter punishments. m5Y0n
Given the increasing rate of injuries and deaths caused by traffic accidents, many people believed that only by implementing more draconian traffic laws can improve our roads safety. Nevertheless, in this essay I will challenge this school of thoughts. Stricter punishments may partly improve road safety in a certain extent via heavy fines, license suspension or vehicle confiscation, prevent road-users from violating traffic laws. For instance, these punitive measure may deter traffic participants from committing traffic offenses resulting in fewer accidents. However, this only works when people are made aware of theses changes. This requires more fundamental approach, which makes people cognizant of traffic laws in the first place. Via education and campaigns about the catastrophic effects of traffic accidents for individuals or their families who suffer from hazard in transportation, these will make people aware of the importance of road safety and comply traffic laws. These steps would even render imposing harsher punishment unnecessary. Furthermore, to say that stringent punishments are the key to enhancing road safety is to ignoring about environmental factors causing accidents. In some rainy day, some roads become slippery that transportation here is dangerous for road-users and those who do not use the road at the same time. The shortage of signposts is also a factor which leads drivers to forbidden road and causes hazards for them. Besides, poor visibility due to trees is one of the environmental factors causing accidents, which people can not see the street clearly, hence, transportation participants crash into the unknown obstacles and fall down the street and get injuries or even deaths. The local and national authorities, therefore, need to detect effective solutions to ameliorate road safety that transportation participants will feel being in safety when they transport. To sum up, stricter punishments may work in a certain degree but no mean it is the only way to improve road safety.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Given
the increasing rate of injuries and deaths caused by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
accidents
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believed that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
by implementing more
Possible incorrect capitalization. Some adjectives that are derived from proper nouns can have both an initial capital letter and an initial lower case letter. If there is a close association with the proper noun, use "Draconian".
draconian
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traffic
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laws
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
roads
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
safety
.
Nevertheless
, in this essay I will challenge this school of thoughts.

Stricter
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishments
may partly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
safety
in a certain extent via heavy fines, license suspension or vehicle confiscation,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
road-users from violating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
laws
.
For instance
, these punitive measure may deter
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
participants from committing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
offenses resulting in fewer accidents.

However
, this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
works when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are made
aware of
Did you mean "these"?
theses
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
. This requires more fundamental approach, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
cognizant of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
laws
in the
first
place. Via education and campaigns about the catastrophic effects of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
accidents
for individuals or their families who suffer from hazard in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transportation
, these will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
aware of the importance of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
safety
and comply
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
laws
. These steps would even render imposing harsher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
unnecessary.

Furthermore
, to say that stringent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishments
are the key to enhancing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
safety
is
The word 'to' seems to be wrong here. "ignoring" is a present participle verb.
to ignoring
about environmental factors causing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
accidents
. In
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
rainy day,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
roads
become slippery that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transportation
here is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
for road-users and those who do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
at the same time. The shortage of signposts is
also
a factor which leads drivers to forbidden
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
and causes hazards for them.
Besides
, poor visibility due to trees is one of the environmental factors causing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
accidents
, which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
the street
clearly
,
hence
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transportation
participants crash into the unknown obstacles and fall down the street and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
injuries or even deaths. The local and national authorities,
therefore
, need to detect effective solutions to ameliorate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
safety
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transportation
participants will feel being in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
safety
when they transport.

To sum up, stricter
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishments
may work in a certain degree
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
no mean it is the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
way to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
safety
.
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IELTS essay the only way to improve road safety is stricter punishments.

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
311 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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