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Human's waste materials are increasing these days. It is obvious that more rubbish is produced in societies than before

Human's waste materials are increasing these days. It is obvious that more rubbish is produced in societies than before E9mYb
On the one hand, as the economy speeds faster, we tend to consume more and more. People in both developed and developing countries buy more food than before. They splash out while shopping as well. The more we buy, the more waste is produced. On the other hand, manufacturers produce more and more products. They have strong marketing strategies, to persuade people to buy more. One example is the beauty product industry. They shatter our confidence and encourage people to purchase new creams, shampoos, etc. I suspect that manufacturers make less durable products on purpose. Therefore, they will gain more returns. The third reason may be the progress of science. Whereas cutting-edge technologies are on the way, many state of the art gadgets become obsolete. Governments can make several decisions to reduce the rubbish. To put high standards for factories to produce durable goods. To oblige the food industry, have better packaging. And to encourage people to have a more economical lifestyle. TV series may influence habits of consumption and set an example of a more economical standard of living. Celebrities, who owe in large part to governments, may show exemplary less rubbish producing lifestyle. In conclusion, I think waste materials are produced more than before, and this should be stopped by people and government can play an important role in this issue.
On the one hand, as the economy speeds faster, we tend to consume more and more.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
in both developed and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
developing countries
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
more food than
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
. They splash out while shopping
as well
. The more we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
, the more waste
is produced
.
On the other hand
, manufacturers produce more and more products. They have strong marketing strategies, to persuade
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
more. One example is the beauty product industry. They shatter our confidence and encourage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
new creams, shampoos, etc. I suspect that manufacturers
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
less durable products on purpose.
Therefore
, they will gain more returns.

The third reason may be the progress of science. Whereas cutting-edge technologies are on the way,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
Did you mean "state-of-the-art"?
state of the art
gadgets become obsolete.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Governments
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
several decisions to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the rubbish. To put high standards for factories to produce durable
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
. To oblige the food industry, have better packaging. And to encourage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to have a more economical lifestyle. TV series may influence habits of consumption and set an example of a more economical standard of living. Celebrities, who owe in large part to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
, may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
exemplary less rubbish producing lifestyle.

In conclusion
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
waste materials
are produced
more than
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
, and this should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stopped
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
can play an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role in this issue.

IELTS essay Human's waste materials are increasing these days. It is obvious that more rubbish is produced in societies than before

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
223 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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