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the only way to guarantee a good job is to complete university education

the only way to guarantee a good job is to complete university education eeojp
Nowadays, the majority of people believe that the only way to guarantee a good job is to complete university education. Although higher education plays a very important role in finding a good job for us, it is not the only way. In my opinion, If we work experienced after completing high school education, we can still get a good job. First of all, the majority of employers tend to select experienced people rather than those with degrees but no experience. For that reason, they work experience who have capable of doing better despite of no certification. On the other hand, some college graduates do not combine theories and practice, they only have professional knowledge with little practical experience. Next, there will be many benefits if they go to work affter completing high school. They have more opportunities to do various jobs that they find suitable for themselves because they have already experienced in other fields. Lastly, completing college graduate does not mean that you will get a good job. This depends on not only professional knowledges but also how to apply in practice
Nowadays, the majority of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
way to guarantee a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
is to complete university education. Although higher education plays a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role in finding a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
for us, it is not the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
way. In my opinion, If we work experienced after completing high school education, we can
still
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, the majority of employers tend to select experienced
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
rather
than those with degrees
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
no experience. For that reason, they work experience who have capable of doing better
Did you mean "despite" (or, alternatively, 'in spite of')?
despite of
no certification.
On the other hand
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
college graduates do not combine theories and practice, they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
have professional knowledge with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
practical experience.
Next
, there will be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
benefits if they go to work
Possible spelling mistake found.
affter
completing high school. They have more opportunities to do various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
that they find suitable for themselves
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they have already experienced in other fields.
Lastly
, completing college graduate does not mean that you will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
. This depends on not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
professional
Possible spelling mistake found.
knowledges
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
how to apply in
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
practice

IELTS essay the only way to guarantee a good job is to complete university education

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
182 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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