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the oldest house you have been to

the oldest house you have been to BlrY5
About several months ago, I read a story about the oldest building, which was located on the south of Wales. When my friend retold me how a fabulous house was described it suddenly occured that I had a sense of amateur to hold it in my hands. The image of the oldest building started as black clouds hung overhead and the wind howled through the trees. Flashes of lighting seemed to tear open the sky giving the old residence a megical appearance. It was certainly that was one of the most haunted houses. The most incredible thing about that building was the scene of the historical movies. That's why tourists and appreciators of the film more often came the place to see by their own. And they also took photographs in order to be unforgettable. After all, I have decided to head for the sight of the oldest house. I believe that the one will have a lasting impact on me.
About several months ago, I read a story about the oldest building, which
was located
on the south of Wales.
“When” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
When
my friend retold me how a fabulous
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
described
it
suddenly
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "occurred", the past tense form of the verb 'occur'?
occured
that I had a sense of amateur to hold it in my hands. The image of the oldest building
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
as black clouds hung overhead and the wind howled through the trees. Flashes of lighting seemed to tear open the sky giving the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
residence a
Possible spelling mistake found.
megical
appearance. It was
certainly
that was one of the most haunted
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
houses
. The most incredible thing about that building was the scene of the historical movies. That's why tourists and appreciators of the film more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
came the place to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
by their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
. And they
also
took photographs in order to be unforgettable.
After all
, I have decided to head for the sight of the oldest
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
. I believe that the one will have a lasting impact on me.
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IELTS essay the oldest house you have been to

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
161 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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