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The older generations tend to have very traditional ideas about how people should live, think and behave. However, some people believe that these ideas are not helpful in preparing younger generations for modern life. v.11

The older generations tend to have very traditional ideas about how people should live, think and behave. However, some people believe that these ideas are not helpful in preparing younger generations for modern life. v. 11
It is sometimes argued that traditional lifestyles and behaviours which are favoured by the old generation have nothing to do with the training of youngsters in a way that may require living in a fast-paced world. I completely agree with this statement. In my opinion, traditions that had been settled by our ancestors are absurd to get considered in this revolutionised world. To take a living style of our predecessors as an example, teenagers in past centuries were bound to remain in nucleus families. However, younger generations are more likely to live independently nowadays which helps them to develop a variety of attributes in their personalities ranging from a higher level of confidence and a sense of responsibility to deal with the real world. These hands-on experiences help them to be better trained and prepared for the challenges in the real world. If these offspring were forced to follow the conventional ideology, they would have missed these much-needed traits which are crucial in becoming a successful member of an egalitarian society. It is also argued that conventional values can restrict teenagers from thinking globally. So, it will make them the narrow-minded adults in terms of accepting different people from different cultures and backgrounds. For instance, our forefathers were highly reluctant to do shared business with traders of different ethnic groups of people in their time period. This ended up in limited trades. Therefore, I would argue that teenagers should be given the broader view of this universe with immense awareness of global issues, different languages as well as conflict resolution. It will allow them to broaden their horizons in regard to the understanding of this increasingly interconnected world. As a result, a prestigious place in the job market and a prosperous future will be assured for them. In conclusion, I believe that traditional ethics should be ignored as it cannot assist in making our younger generation the productive members of a competitive society.
It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
argued that traditional lifestyles and
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviours' is British English.
behaviours
which are
Possible spelling mistake. 'favoured' is British English.
favoured
by the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
generation have nothing to do with the training of youngsters in a way that may require living in a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
-paced
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
. I completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this statement.

In my opinion, traditions that had
been settled
by our ancestors are absurd to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
considered in this
Possible spelling mistake. 'revolutionised' is British English.
revolutionised
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
. To take a living style of our predecessors as an example,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
in past centuries
were bound
to remain in nucleus families.
However
, younger generations are more likely to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
independently
nowadays which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
them to develop a variety of attributes in their personalities ranging from a higher level of confidence and a sense of responsibility to deal with the real
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
. These hands-on experiences
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them to be better trained and prepared for the challenges in the real
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
. If these offspring
were forced
to follow the conventional ideology, they would have missed these much-needed traits which are crucial in becoming a successful member of an egalitarian society.

It is
also
argued that conventional values can restrict
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
from thinking globally.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, it will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them the narrow-minded adults in terms of accepting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
cultures and backgrounds.
For instance
, our forefathers were
highly
reluctant to do shared business with traders of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
ethnic groups of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in their time period. This ended up in limited trades.
Therefore
, I would argue that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
the broader view of this universe with immense awareness of global issues,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
languages
as well
as conflict resolution. It will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
them to broaden their horizons in regard to the understanding of this
increasingly
interconnected
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
.
As a result
, a prestigious place in the job market and a prosperous future will
be assured
for them.

In conclusion
, I believe that traditional ethics should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ignored
as it cannot assist in making our younger generation the productive members of a competitive society.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
9Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay The older generations tend to have very traditional ideas about how people should live, think and behave. However, some people believe that these ideas are not helpful in preparing younger generations for modern life. v. 11

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
323 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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