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The older generations tend to have very traditional ideas about how people should live, think and behave. However, some people believe that these ideas are not helpful in preparing younger generations for modern life. v.12

The older generations tend to have very traditional ideas about how people should live, think and behave. However, some people believe that these ideas are not helpful in preparing younger generations for modern life. v. 12
It is true that many older people believe in traditional values that often seem incompatible with the needs of younger people. While I agree that some traditional ideas are outdated, I believe that others are still useful and should not be forgotten. On the one hand, many of the ideas that elderly people have about life are becoming less relevant for younger people. In the past, for example, people were advised to learn a profession and find a secure job for life, but today's workers expect much more variety and diversity from their careers. At the same time, the 'rules' around relationships are being eroded as young adults make their own choices about who and when to marry. But perhaps the greatest disparity between the generations can be seen in their attitudes towards gender roles. The traditional roles of men and women, as breadwinners and housewives, are no longer accepted as necessary or appropriate by the most of the younger people. On the other hand, some traditional views and values are certainly applicable to the modern world. For example, older generations attach great importance to working hard, doing one's best, and taking pride in one's work, and these behaviours can surely benefit young people as they enter today's competitive job market. Other characteristics that are perhaps seen as traditional are politeness and good manners. In our globalised world, young adults can expect to come into contact with people from a huge variety of backgrounds, and it is more important than ever to treat others with respect. Finally, I believe that young people would lead happier lives if they had a more 'old-fashioned' sense of community and neighbourliness. In conclusion, although the views of older people may sometimes seem unhelpful in today's world, we should not dismiss all traditional ideas as irrelevant.
It is true that
many
older
people
believe in
traditional
values that
often
seem incompatible with the needs of younger
people
. While I
agree
that
some
traditional
ideas
are outdated
, I believe that others are
still
useful and should not
be forgotten
.

On the one hand,
many
of the
ideas
that elderly
people
have about life are becoming less relevant for younger
people
. In the past,
for example
,
people
were advised
to learn a profession and find a secure job for life,
but
today
's workers
expect
much more variety and diversity from their careers. At the same time, the '
rules
' around relationships are
being eroded
as
young
adults
make
their
own
choices about who and when to marry.
But
perhaps the greatest disparity between the generations can be
seen
in their attitudes towards gender roles. The
traditional
roles of
men
and women, as breadwinners and housewives, are no longer
accepted
as necessary or appropriate by the most of the younger
people
.

On the
other
hand,
some
traditional
views and values are
certainly
applicable to the modern world.
For example
, older generations attach great importance to working
hard
, doing one's best, and taking pride in one's work, and these
behaviours
can
surely
benefit
young
people
as they enter
today
's competitive job market.
Other
characteristics that are perhaps
seen
as
traditional
are politeness and
good
manners. In our
globalised
world,
young
adults can
expect
to
come
into contact with
people
from a huge variety of backgrounds, and it is more
important
than ever to treat others with respect.
Finally
, I believe that
young
people
would lead happier
lives
if they had a more '
old
-fashioned' sense of community and
neighbourliness
.

In conclusion
, although the views of older
people
may
sometimes
seem unhelpful in
today
's world, we should not dismiss all
traditional
ideas
as irrelevant.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
21Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay The older generations tend to have very traditional ideas about how people should live, think and behave. However, some people believe that these ideas are not helpful in preparing younger generations for modern life. v. 12

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
301 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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