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The older generations tend to have very traditional ideas about how people should live, think and behave. However, some people believe that these ideas are not helpful in preparing younger generations for modern life. v.13

The older generations tend to have very traditional ideas about how people should live, think and behave. However, some people believe that these ideas are not helpful in preparing younger generations for modern life. v. 13
Nowadays, life has changed dramatically due to technological developments and globalizations. Many orthodox ways of spending lives have become obsolete and outdated. Some people still adhere to their traditions and cultures and are very reluctant to accept new and modern ways of lives. However, some people state that in order to compete with the current challenges, we should train our younger generation with the latest and trendy ideas. Firstly, people used to live in the joint family system in the past decades. This gave them the opportunity to learn from their ancestors about various aspects of life. There was always a special place for elder people of the family and younger used to obey and respect them and followed their instructions in every possible. Such kind of love and respect is hard to see in modern lifestyle. Adults nowadays have become more independent, and are showing less respect towards their parents’ decisions and other aspects of life. Secondly, there has been an element of care for their family and other members of the society in the past. Now, everyone first thinks about their own benefit and less likely to care about others. By this, I mean that new ideas contribute in making our generation selfish and egoist. Thirdly, there is a significant change in people’s behaviour in the modern world; they have less patience while doing any work. They have become less active and more opted towards shortcuts and less mean of work. Finally, I strongly believe that traditional ways for preparing younger generation is idle and have many in-deniable benefits than modern ways of handling youngsters.
Nowadays, life has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
dramatically
due to technological developments and
Possible spelling mistake found.
globalizations
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
orthodox
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ways
of spending
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
have become obsolete and outdated.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
still
adhere to their traditions and cultures and are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
reluctant to accept new and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ways
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.
However
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
state that in order to compete with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
challenges, we should train our younger generation with the latest and trendy
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
.

Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in the joint family system in the past decades. This gave them the opportunity to learn from their ancestors about various aspects of life. There was always a special place for elder
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
of the family and younger
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to obey and respect them and followed their instructions in every possible. Such kind of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
and respect is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
lifestyle. Adults nowadays have become more independent, and are showing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
less
respect towards their parents’ decisions and other aspects of life.

Secondly
, there has been an element of care for their family and other members of the society in the past.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Now
, everyone
first
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thinks
about their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
benefit and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
less
likely to care about others. By this, I mean that new
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
contribute in making our generation selfish and egoist.

Thirdly
, there is a significant
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
world; they have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
less
patience while doing any work. They have become
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
less
active and more opted towards shortcuts and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
less
mean of work.

Finally
, I
strongly
believe that traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ways
for preparing younger generation is idle and have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
in-deniable benefits than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ways
of handling youngsters.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
18Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay The older generations tend to have very traditional ideas about how people should live, think and behave. However, some people believe that these ideas are not helpful in preparing younger generations for modern life. v. 13

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
267 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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