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The older generations tend to have very traditional ideas about how people should live, think and behave. However, some people believe that these ideas are not helpful in preparing younger generations for modern life. v.10

The older generations tend to have very traditional ideas about how people should live, think and behave. However, some people believe that these ideas are not helpful in preparing younger generations for modern life. v. 10
It is true that the older generation, in most of the cases, adheres to many traditional values, belief and old way of thinking and many of these are not suitable to make the youngsters ready to take challenges in this modern era. There are still some values and traditions that are useful and older generation should pass those values to the young people. To begin with, many ideas that older generation still finds unavoidable have become less relevant for the young generation and it is a good thing that the youngsters have less faith on the superstitions our forefathers believed in. Besides, the traditional belief of educating a boy and upbringing a girl so that he becomes the breadwinner and she can become a good housewife is no longer accepted by the modern era. The traditional belief of fixed role for men and women are no longer applicable to this advance era where people believe in gender equity. Furthermore, the modern generation no longer agrees to take the fact that a student has to study to become either a doctor or an engineer. According to the old belief, these two are the careers someone must have. With the time, study and career have become quite different and the older tradition is no longer acceptable now. Moreover, young adults these days choose their life partners and decide when to marry which contradicts with the old tradition. However, there are some traditional values that the youngsters should foster as those views are still beneficial and useful in this modern era. For instance, old generation strongly believes in the importance of being honest and they would rather die than to surrender to the corruption. If this generation can adapt to this single traditional value, the world would be a much better place. Our forefathers also valued the importance of working hard and taking pride in one’s dignity and work. These characteristics are ageless and should be passed to the new generation as well. We have become more materialistic and selfish these days while out older generation teaches us the value of family and society. The sense of community the senior people had are exemplary and would establish better family, social and cultural bonding. To conclude, youngsters have to be ready to embrace the changed of the modern era while nurturing the traditional values that teaches them to have better future.
It is true that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
older
generation, in most of the cases, adheres to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditional
values,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
belief
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
way of thinking and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
of these are not suitable to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the youngsters ready to take challenges in this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
era
. There are
still
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
values and traditions that are useful and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
older
generation should
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
pass


This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
those
values to the young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
older
generation
still
finds unavoidable have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
become
less relevant for the young generation and it is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
thing that the youngsters have less faith on the superstitions our forefathers believed in.
Besides
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
belief
of educating a boy and upbringing a girl
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that he
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
becomes
the
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
breadwinner and
she can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
become
a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
housewife is no
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
longer
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
accepted
by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
era
. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
belief
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fixed
role for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
and women are no
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
longer
applicable to this advance
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
era
where
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe in gender equity.
Furthermore
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
generation no
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
longer
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agrees
to take the fact that a student
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
study to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
become
either a doctor or an engineer. According to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
belief
, these two are the careers someone
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
have. With the time, study and career have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
become
quite
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
older
tradition is no
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
longer
acceptable
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
.
Moreover
, young adults these days choose their life partners and decide when to marry which contradicts with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
tradition.

However
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditional
values that the youngsters should foster as those views are
still
beneficial and useful in this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
era
.
For instance
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
generation
strongly
believes in the importance of being
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
honest and
they would
rather
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
die
than to surrender to the corruption. If this generation can adapt to this single
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
value
, the world would be a much better place. Our forefathers
also
valued the importance of working
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
and taking pride in one’s dignity and work. These characteristics are ageless and should
be passed
to the new generation
as well
. We have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
become
more materialistic and selfish these days while out
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
older
generation teaches us the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
value
of family and society. The sense of community the senior
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
had
Possible agreement error -- use past participle here: "been".
are
exemplary and would establish better family, social and cultural bonding.

To conclude
, youngsters
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
be ready to embrace the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
era
while nurturing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditional
values that teaches them to have better future.
13Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
41Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes

IELTS essay The older generations tend to have very traditional ideas about how people should live, think and behave. However, some people believe that these ideas are not helpful in preparing younger generations for modern life. v. 10

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
397 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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