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The number of workers is provided

The number of workers is provided PRA7g
The line graph illustrates the proportions of workers in three different sectors (services, agriculture and industry) in South Korea from 1981 to 2011. In general, it is clear that the percentage of services consistently largest and increased over the span of 30 years. Meanwhile, both industry and agriculture figures shrank through the period given, especially agriculture, this proportion plummeted from the second common sector to the less in the last year. Looking at the graph more closely, one can see that there were some significant changes in the services between 1981 and 2011. Began as the most common sector at the beginning of the period, this figure then rose gradually to about 47% in 1991 before dramatically increasing to hit the highest point at around 70% in the last year. In terms of industry and agriculture, both had the counter pattern compared to the first sector. The proportion of industry grew slightly in the first three years, reaching nearly 40%. Then from 1991 to 2011, it surged, hitting a low of approximately equal to the first data, at around 28%. As for the agricultural sector, it decreased slowly until 2006, at which point it dipped sharply to just over 0%. Although agriculture had the same pattern as industry, the gap between it and another had been widened at the end of the period, becoming the less common sector at this time.
The line graph illustrates the proportions of workers in three
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
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sectors
(services,
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agriculture
and
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industry)
in South Korea from 1981 to 2011.

In general
, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that the percentage of services
consistently
largest and increased over the span of 30 years. Meanwhile, both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
industry
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
agriculture
figures shrank through the period
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
,
especially
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
agriculture
, this proportion plummeted from the second common
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sector
to the less in the last year.

Looking at the graph more
closely
, one can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
that there were
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
significant
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
in the services between 1981 and 2011. Began as the most common
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sector
at the beginning of the period, this figure then rose
gradually
to about 47% in 1991
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
dramatically
increasing to hit the highest point at around 70% in the last year.

In terms of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
industry
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
agriculture
, both had the counter pattern compared to the
first
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sector
. The proportion of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
industry
grew
slightly
in the
first
three years, reaching
nearly
40%. Then from 1991 to 2011, it surged, hitting a low of approximately equal to the
first
data, at around 28%. As for the agricultural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sector
, it decreased
slowly
until 2006, at which point it dipped
sharply
to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
over 0%. Although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
agriculture
had the same pattern as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
industry
, the gap between it and another had
been widened
at the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of the period, becoming the less common
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sector
at this time.
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IELTS essay The number of workers is provided

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
231 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
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