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The number of people who are at risk of serious health problems due to being overweight is increasing. What is the reason for the growth in overweight people in society? How can this problem be solved ?

These days, there is a massive increase in the number of people who are facing some major health issues owing to the overweight body. Although there are many factors which contribute to this issue, increased fast food consumption and peoples' sedentary lifestyle are the primary reasons. One of the major causes for the increase in overweight people in today's society is the sedentary lifestyle of working professionals. Many professions, these days, require long sitting hours, as compared to the past. Employers have become more demanding; thus, people have to work for long hours in their offices. As a result, they get very less time for exercise and other health activities. Another reason of this problem is increased consumption of fast food by public, especially youth. Many people do not have culinary skill, or they do not get time to cook for themselves. Therefore, they usually rely on fast food, which result in fat accumulation on the body. There are a number of solutions which can be implemented to control this growing concern of overweight people. Firstly, the government should encourage people to indulge in healthy activities such as daily exercises and regular walks. To do so, public transport facilities should be improved, so that people can at least take a walk to the nearest stop while commuting to the office. Another way to control this problem is by putting a ban on the fast food commercials. As people get attracted to fast food items whenever they see any advert on TV. In conclusion, more people are becoming overweight due to the busy lifestyle and consumption of fast food. Putting a ban on fast food commercials and encouraging people to adopt exercise in daily routine are possible ways to solve this issue.
These days, there is a massive increase in the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who are facing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
major health issues owing to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
overweight
body. Although there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
factors which contribute to this issue, increased
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
consumption and peoples' sedentary lifestyle are the primary reasons.

One of the major causes for the increase in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
overweight
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's society is the sedentary lifestyle of working professionals.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
professions, these days, require long sitting hours, as compared to the past. Employers have become more demanding;
thus
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
work for long hours in their offices.
As a result
, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
less time for exercise and other health activities. Another reason of this problem
is increased
consumption of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
by public,
especially
youth.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do not have culinary
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
, or they do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
time to cook for themselves.
Therefore
, they
usually
rely on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
, which result in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fat
accumulation on the body.

There are a number of solutions which can
be implemented
to control this growing concern of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
overweight
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
Firstly
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should encourage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to indulge in healthy activities such as daily exercises and regular walks. To do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
, public transport facilities should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can at least take a walk to the nearest
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
while commuting to the office. Another way to control this problem is by putting a ban on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
commercials. As
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
attracted to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
items whenever they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
any advert on TV.

In conclusion
, more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are becoming
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
overweight
due to the busy lifestyle and consumption of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
. Putting a ban on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
commercials and encouraging
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to adopt exercise in daily routine are possible ways to solve this issue.
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IELTS essay The number of people who are at risk of serious health problems due to being overweight is increasing. What is the reason for the growth in overweight people in society? How can this problem be solved?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
291 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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