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in some countries, an increasing number of people are suffering from health problems as a result of eating too much fast food. It is therefore necessary for the government to impose a higher tax on this kind of food. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

The extreme consumption of fast food has been a thorny issue making more and more folks bear with health diseases over years in numerous regions. Although it is thought that imposing a higher tax on junk food is crucial for authorities, I am particularly against the idea. On the one hand, there are many advantages for governments to raise the fast-food tax. Due to high expenses, inhabitants are less likely to consume junk food frequently. Boosting taxes discourage citizens to purchase convenience food, therefore, they have no option but neither buying healthy food not cooking a proper meal to save their money. Furthermore, the amount of money derived from charging junk food could be used to minimize the negative impact caused by absorbing excessive ready-to-go food. For instance, the authorities can use the expenditure in hospitality to help patients who are coping with diseases such as obesity and heart disease. On the other hand, assessing hunger tax is needless as people might maintain a fast-food diet. Firstly, the middle and lower-income class would be affected by the extra fee while the affluent residents are immune. Secondly, knowing the detriment effect of fast food, many people still take up ready-to-go meals owing to its convenience. According to some news, the former US president, Donald Trump, usually eats one McDonald's meal a day to save time for working. Perhaps a feasible approach for the government is to make healthy food more affordable and accessible to their dwellers. In conclusion, I strongly disapprove of enhancing the tax on fast food to reduce health issues despite the benefits of that idea. Hence, better attempts should be used to tackle the problem.
The extreme consumption of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
has been a thorny issue making more and more folks bear with health diseases over years in numerous regions. Although it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
that imposing a higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tax
on junk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
is crucial for authorities, I am
particularly
against the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
.

On the one hand, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
advantages for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
to raise the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
-food
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tax
. Due to high expenses, inhabitants are less likely to consume junk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
frequently
. Boosting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
taxes
discourage citizens to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
convenience
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
,
therefore
, they have no option
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
neither buying healthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
not cooking a proper meal to save their money.
Furthermore
, the amount of money derived from charging junk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
could be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to minimize the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impact caused by absorbing excessive ready-to-go
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
.
For instance
, the authorities can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
the expenditure in hospitality to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
patients who are coping with diseases such as obesity and heart disease.

On the other hand
, assessing hunger
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tax
is needless as
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
might maintain a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
-food diet.
Firstly
, the middle and lower-income
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
would be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
by the extra fee while the affluent residents are immune.
Secondly
, knowing the detriment effect of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
still
take up ready-to-go meals owing to its convenience. According to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
news, the former US president, Donald Trump,
usually
eats one McDonald's meal a day to save time for working. Perhaps a feasible approach for the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
is to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
healthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
more affordable and accessible to their dwellers.

In conclusion
, I
strongly
disapprove of enhancing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tax
on
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
health issues despite the benefits of that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
.
Hence
, better attempts should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to tackle the problem.
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IELTS essay in some countries, an increasing number of people are suffering from health problems as a result of eating too much fast food. It is therefore necessary for the government to impose a higher tax on this kind of food. with this opinion?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
277 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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