Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

In the recent years, there has been a drastic rise in the number of severe health issues due to obesity.

In the recent years, there has been a drastic rise in the number of severe health issues due to obesity. This issue has occurred due to lack of regular exercise and by creating awareness in the society we could tackle the present complication. The essay will discuss in detail regarding the possible cause and solution to the matter. First and foremost, the main risk for overweight is a sedentary lifestyle. When compared to the lifestyle of earlier generations, present generation spend most of their time in the office rather than performing field work. Only a small fraction of people works in job sectors that requires strenuous exercise as Part of their work. They spend long working hours in front of the computer and this lack of physical exercise can cause drastic weight gain. For example, a recent health survey revealed that the number of people who prefer white collar jobs had increased in the recent years compared to previous years. The possible solution to this rising matter include creating awareness among the general public. The government should take the initiative in conducting campaigns among the citizens regarding healthy eating and the importance of regular activity. This can be achieved by conducting seminars which would help in educating the public. For instance, the companies could provide indoor gyms or conduct activity that requires physical activity which would help to keep the employees physically fit and healthy. In conclusion, health issues due to obesity are a growing obstacle. The Lack of Physics work out is the single main cause of the rising concern. Thus, with the help of awareness campaigns the present dispute could be solved.
In the recent years, there has been a drastic rise in the number of severe health issues due to obesity. This issue has occurred due to lack of regular exercise and by creating awareness in the society we could tackle the present complication. The essay will discuss in detail regarding the possible cause and solution to the matter.

First
and foremost, the main
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
for overweight is a sedentary lifestyle. When compared to the lifestyle of earlier generations, present generation spend most of their time in the office
rather
than performing field
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Only
a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
fraction of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
works in job sectors that requires strenuous exercise as Part of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
. They spend long working hours in front of the computer and this lack of physical exercise can cause drastic weight gain.
For example
, a recent health survey revealed that the number of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who prefer white collar jobs had increased in the recent years compared to previous years.

The possible solution to this rising matter include creating awareness among the
Consider using only “public” to avoid wordiness.
general public
. The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should take the initiative in conducting campaigns among the citizens regarding healthy eating and the importance of regular activity. This can
be achieved
by conducting seminars which would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
in educating the public.
For instance
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
could provide indoor gyms or conduct activity that requires physical activity which would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
the employees
physically
fit and healthy.

In conclusion
, health issues due to obesity are a growing obstacle. The Lack of Physics
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
out is the single main cause of the rising concern.
Thus
, with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of awareness campaigns the present dispute could
be solved
.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS essay In the recent years, there has been a drastic rise in the number of severe health issues due to obesity.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
274 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts





Get more results for topic:
  • In the recent years, there has been a drastic rise in the number of severe health issues due to obesity.