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The number of people who are at risk of serious health problems due to being overweight is increasing. What is the reason for the growth in overweight people in our society and how can the problem be solved? v.5

The number of people who are at risk of serious health problems due to being overweight is increasing. What is the reason for the growth in overweight people in our society and how can the problem be solved? v. 5
Nowadays the overweight is a basic problem in all countries and also been a debate type of question as well, due to overweight gives many disadvantages and disease as well in a human body. It is obvious thing overweight begin also one form of laziness in people as well. I completely agree with this statement risk of serious problems due to being overweight. Overweight is Probably increasing in society because of the people are nowadays very lazy and not well-being conscious, overweight, are coming from the Jankfood or unhealthy food as well. People are regular basis eating this type of food, so they are high, risking some health issue or invited the disease as well. Although it's obvious thing that high weight people are not doing the same things that can skinny or healthy people. Some serious health problems are coming with overweight is laziness, sugar issue, diabetes digitisation problem, or other problems as well. Like examples are if people are doing regular basis exercises, sporting events and mentally prepare for any sort of situation, then they overcome with heavyweight problems and any other disease. Although I also feel this if 40 years or above age peoples are avoiding the night Jankfood if possible to eat the some fruits, and going to regular exercise or gym as well to decrease weight or control burden. Societies are also organized some fitness care or classes to increase the awareness of people about health In conclusion, overweight is some basic issue in all countries, if society is ready to overcome with this problem then they will avoid risk assessment of health. And some high risk of serious problems also been overcome with the general awareness.
Nowadays the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
overweight
is a basic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
in all countries and
also
been a debate type of question as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
well
, due to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
overweight
gives
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
disadvantages and disease as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
well
in a human body. It
Please check whether an article is missing: "is a obvious" or "is an obvious"
is obvious
thing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
overweight
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
also
one form of laziness in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
well
. I completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this statement
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
of serious
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
due to being overweight.

Overweight is
Probably
increasing in society
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are nowadays
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
lazy and not well-being conscious,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
overweight
, are coming from the
Possible spelling mistake found.
Jankfood
or unhealthy food as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
well
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
are regular basis eating this type of food,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they are high, risking
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
health issue or invited the disease as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
well
. Although
Did you mean "its obvious thing"?
it's obvious thing
that high weight
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are not doing the same things that can skinny or healthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
serious health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
are coming with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
overweight
is laziness, sugar issue, diabetes
Possible spelling mistake. 'digitisation' is British English.
digitisation
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
, or other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
as well
.

Like examples are if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are doing regular basis exercises, sporting
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
and mentally prepare for any sort of situation, then they overcome with heavyweight
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
and any other disease. Although I
also
feel this if 40 years or above age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
peoples
are avoiding the night
Possible spelling mistake found.
Jankfood
if possible to eat the
Did you mean "same"?
some
fruits, and going to regular exercise or gym as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
well
to decrease weight or control burden. Societies are
also
organized
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
fitness care or classes to increase the awareness of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
about
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
health


In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
overweight
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
basic issue in all countries, if society is ready to overcome with this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
then they will avoid
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
assessment of health. And
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
high
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
of serious
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
also
been overcome
with the general awareness.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
Language is to the mind more than light is to the eye.
William Gibson

IELTS essay The number of people who are at risk of serious health problems due to being overweight is increasing. What is the reason for the growth in overweight people in our society and how can the problem be solved? v. 5

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
282 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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