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16. Usually, novels, magazines and poetry are considered the three major formsof literature. Which one do you prefer and explain why you prefer thisliterature form. Please include specific examples and details in yourexplanation. v.1

16. Usually, novels, magazines and poetry are considered the three major formsof literature. Which one do you prefer and explain why you prefer thisliterature form. Please include specific examples and details in yourexplanation. v. 1
Due to advancement in technology people are now living in a global village and it has many benefits, while others who perceive that it does not have advantages. I strongly believe that it has more positive than negative. Both aforementioned are explained further along with my inclination. To prove my viewpoint, I offer many advantages, the foremost one is people are getting more and more employment opportunities. Moreover, due to globalization companies are interested in pursuing large investment globally and it would create many job requirements. Such as, Tesla company which is related to automobile sector is about to launch new electric cars, for that company needs to construct many charging stations and eventually it would provide workplace to unemployed people. Furthermore, the second pros of globalization is the development of new technology. Also it is a positive trend, as it involves research from all over the world and with the support of each other, scientists are creating new technology which is beneficial for glob. Third merit to claim my view, is increasing education standards, People tend to get higher subjective knowledge from different parts of the world, it would be easy to get, because of good international relations among countries. For example, Gujarat Technological University has started an educational program under which, they decided to exchange students for a certain time period with Germany. However, globalisation has some disadvantages like, it can create health related issues. This can create mental disease in many people because of workload and over thinking about the future gives mental illness to many people. Such as, one survey illustrates that mental problems are there among people who works internationally. To conclude, to support and prove my inclination globalization has more pros than cons like, people are getting more jobs and improvement in education system, however, negative side which says that it creates mental illnesses cannot be neglected.
Due to advancement in technology
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
living in a global village and it has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
benefits, while others who perceive that it does not have advantages. I
strongly
believe that it has more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
than
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
. Both aforementioned are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explained
further
along with my inclination.

To prove my viewpoint, I offer
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
advantages, the foremost one is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are getting more and more employment opportunities.
Moreover
, due to globalization
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
are interested
in pursuing large investment globally and it would
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
create
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
job requirements. Such as, Tesla
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
which
is related
to automobile sector is about to launch new electric cars, for that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
needs to construct
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
charging stations and
eventually
it would provide workplace to unemployed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
Furthermore
, the second pros of globalization is the development of new technology.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Also
it is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
trend, as it involves research from all over the world and with the support of each other, scientists are creating new technology which is beneficial for glob.

Third merit to claim my view, is increasing education standards,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
tend to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
higher subjective knowledge from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
parts of the world, it would be easy to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
international relations among countries.
For example
, Gujarat Technological University has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
an educational program under which, they decided to exchange students for a certain time period with Germany.

However
,
Do not mix variants of the same word ('globalisation' and 'globalization') within a single text.
globalisation
has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
disadvantages like, it can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
create
health related issues. This can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
create
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mental
disease in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of workload and over thinking about the future gives
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mental
illness to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. Such as, one survey illustrates that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mental
problems are there among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who
Did you mean "work"? Alternatively, check whether the singular of 'people' should be used.
works
internationally
.

To conclude
, to support and prove my inclination globalization has more pros than cons like,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are getting more jobs and improvement in education system,
however
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
side which says that it
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
creates
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mental
illnesses cannot
be neglected
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
Change your language and you change your thoughts.
Karl Albrecht

IELTS essay 16. Usually, novels, magazines and poetry are considered the three major formsof literature. Which one do you prefer and explain why you prefer thisliterature form. Please include specific examples and details in yourexplanation. v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
313 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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