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The number of people suffering from health problems caused by a modern lifestyle which cannot be treated with modern medicines. Some people believe that alternative medicine can help. Do you agree that alternative medicines are effective?

The number of people suffering from health problems caused by a modern lifestyle which cannot be treated with modern medicines. Some people believe that alternative medicine can help. Do you agree that alternative medicines are effective? xmVwo
Yes, I do agree that as science is evolving the people's mind is shifting to new kind of medicines leaving behind the natural ones which are more strong and effective. Huge number of diseases are increasing day by day with evolving life style. I believe, the processed food is the key for the major health problems. In order to overcome these health issues fastly, people are prefering to have english medicine which reacts to the problem immediately inturn creating other side effects in different parts of the body. Medicines like Ayrveda are prepared from natural ingredients which may react slowly to the problem but with no side effects in the body. Also consuming these medicines will not allow the same disesase to reoccur in long run unlike the modern medicine which acts temporarily on the problem.
Yes, I do
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that as science is evolving the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's mind is shifting to new kind of medicines leaving behind the natural ones which are more strong and effective. Huge number of diseases are increasing day by day with evolving life style.

I believe, the processed food is the key for the major health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
. In order to overcome these health issues
Possible spelling mistake found.
fastly
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are
Possible spelling mistake found.
prefering
to have
Possible spelling mistake found.
english
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medicine
which reacts to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
immediately
Possible spelling mistake found.
inturn
creating other side effects in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
parts of the body.

Medicines like
Possible spelling mistake found.
Ayrveda
are prepared
from natural ingredients which may react
slowly
to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
with no side effects in the body.
Also
consuming these medicines will not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
the same
Possible spelling mistake found.
disesase
to reoccur in long run unlike the modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medicine
which acts
temporarily
on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
.

IELTS essay The number of people suffering from health problems caused by a modern lifestyle which cannot be treated with modern medicines. Some people believe that alternative medicine can help. Do you agree that alternative medicines are effective?

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
136 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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