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The number of people interested in cosmetic surgery is increasing in order to improve their physical appearance. Why do people do operations to change the way they look? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

The number of people interested in cosmetic surgery is increasing in order to improve their physical appearance. Why do people do operations to change the way they look? Do you think it is a positive or negative development? ExKq
Beauty have always been a vital aspect in all parts of the world. Nowadays, more and more people in the society are depending cosmetic surgeries than ever before for enhancing their looks. In my opinion, this is a negative trend. This essay will discuss, why they rely much on such types of surgery and why it is considered as a drawback for the public. Firstly, there are many reasons for the society to opt reconstructive surgeries to look better. In that one of the prime cause would be by the wrong influence of role models. With the easy access to the internet, newer generations are attracted towards celebrities; moreover, try to follow those public figures in all there aspects. As a result of this, they try to imitate the public figures in their physical appearance as well. For example, from the survey conducted in U. K, showed that people ending up with beauty corrections under the influence of movie personels are higher than reason for undergoing the treatment. Therefore, public feel that, if they need to look beautiful, they must undergo some reconstructive surgeries. However, these surgeries could adversely affect the community across the globe, than the positive impacts it has. This is because, people would tend to lose confidence on their natural beauty; moreover, could develop a fear to face the societies. Consequently, it can effect their mental stability. In addition to that, such operations could have side effects. This way it can detoriate the individuals overall health. Like, Rakhi Savant, a famous actress from Bollywood, who have undergone a number of reconstructive sugeries on her nose, hips, and lips. However, in her recent interview with B. B. C she told that she is a victim of plastic surgery, due to which she has kidney failure. Hence, health issues and creating low confidence level in the mind of common man are the negative side of such operations. In conclusion, people go behind reconstructive surgery under the influence of the public idols, on the contrary these have adverse impact on the public. In my perspective, society would lack confidence in their own skin and could end up with many health issues.
Beauty have always been a vital aspect in all parts of the world. Nowadays, more and more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
The verb 'depending' is a stative verb and sometimes the progressive form is not correct. Try a simple form instead.
are depending
cosmetic surgeries than ever
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
for enhancing their looks. In my opinion, this is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
trend. This essay will discuss, why they rely much on such types of surgery and why it
is considered
as a drawback for the public.

Firstly
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
reasons for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
to opt reconstructive surgeries to look better. In that one of the prime cause would be by the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
influence of role models. With the easy access to the internet, newer generations
are attracted
towards celebrities;
moreover
, try to follow those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
figures in all
Did you mean "their"?
there
aspects.
As a result
of this, they try to imitate the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
figures in their physical appearance
as well
.
For example
, from the survey conducted in U. K,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
ending up with beauty corrections under the influence of movie
Possible spelling mistake found.
personels
are higher than reason for undergoing the treatment.
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
feel that, if they need to look
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
beautiful
, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
undergo
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
reconstructive surgeries.

However
, these surgeries could
adversely
affect the community across the globe, than the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
impacts it has. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
would tend to lose confidence on their natural beauty;
moreover
, could develop a fear to face the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
societies
.
Consequently
, it can effect their mental stability.
In addition
to that, such operations could have side effects. This way it can
Possible spelling mistake found.
detoriate
the individuals
overall
health. Like,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Rakhi
Savant, a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
actress from Bollywood, who have undergone a number of reconstructive
Possible spelling mistake found.
sugeries
on her nose, hips, and lips.
However
, in her recent interview with B. B. C she
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
told
that she is a victim of plastic surgery, due to which she has kidney failure.
Hence
, health issues and creating low confidence level in the mind of common
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
are the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
side of such operations.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
go behind reconstructive surgery under the influence of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
idols,
on the contrary
these have adverse impact on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
. In my perspective,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
would lack confidence in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
skin and could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
up with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
health issues.
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IELTS essay The number of people interested in cosmetic surgery is increasing in order to improve their physical appearance. Why do people do operations to change the way they look? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
361 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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