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There are more new towns nowadays. It is more important to include public parks and sports facilities than shopping centers for individuals to spend their free time. To what extent do you agree or disagree.

There are more new towns nowadays. It is more important to include public parks and sports facilities than shopping centers for individuals to spend their free time. PmJB
Owing to the increasing number of urban areas these days, it is debatable issue that there should be indulgences of common parks and sports clubs rather than shopping arcades for recreation. I would argue that all these public places hold equal importance. On the one hand, introduction of parks and sports facilities in the town is vital due to several factors. First and foremost, cultivating urban green spaces facilities an escape residents from ailments. To elaborate, if park introduces in towns, people would have an opportunity to perform various activities which become them healthy and they can take breath in fresh air. Secondly, the facilities of sports clubs in towns people motivate to take part in physical activities, which ensures physical and psychological well being. Also, many youngsters can fulfill their dreams of being a good sportsman due to dearth of adequate facilities, so this would be a golden opportunity for them. On the other hand, a plethora of reasons are there which can be referred to show that, why shopping centers are as important as parks and sports clubs facilities. Moreover, visiting a shopping center is one of the most desirable events of people all over the world. To explain, these are seen as a public places by urban inhabitants to pass their leisure time. For example, some shopping malls have skating rings or gaming sections where parents and their children can enjoy their couple of time together. As all the required household things as well as other items are available under one roof, there is no need to move around the shops in markets. This offered convenience is what citizens seek in their busy lifestyle. For conclusion, I would like to reiterate that all amenities: parks, sports centers and shopping malls are equally important for each and every person.
Owing to the increasing number of urban areas these days, it is debatable issue that there should be indulgences of common
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parks
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
clubs
rather
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
arcades for recreation. I would argue that all these public places hold equal importance.

On the one hand, introduction of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parks
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
facilities in the town is vital due to several factors.
First
and foremost, cultivating urban green spaces facilities an escape residents from ailments. To elaborate, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
park
introduces in towns,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
would have an opportunity to perform various activities which become them
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
healthy and
they can take breath in fresh air.
Secondly
, the facilities of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
clubs in towns
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
motivate to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
take part
in physical activities, which ensures physical and psychological
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
well being
.
Also
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
youngsters can fulfill their dreams of being a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
sportsman due to dearth of adequate facilities,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
this would be a golden opportunity for them.

On the other hand
, a plethora of reasons are there which can
be referred
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
that, why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
centers are as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parks
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
clubs facilities.
Moreover
, visiting a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
center is one of the most desirable
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
all over the world. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
, these are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
as a public places by urban inhabitants to pass their leisure time.
For example
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
malls have skating rings or gaming sections where parents and their children can enjoy their couple of time together. As all the required household things
as well
as other items are available under one roof, there is no need to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
around the shops in markets. This offered convenience is what citizens seek in their busy lifestyle.

For conclusion, I would like to reiterate that all amenities:
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parks
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
centers and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
malls are
equally
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for each and every person.
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IELTS essay There are more new towns nowadays. It is more important to include public parks and sports facilities than shopping centers for individuals to spend their free time.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
301 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
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