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The number of overweight children in developed countries is increasing. Some people think this is due to problems such as the growing number of fast food outlets. Others believe that parents are to blame for not looking after their children's health. To what extent do you agree with these views? v.3

The number of overweight children in developed countries is increasing. Some people think this is due to problems such as the growing number of fast food outlets. Others believe that parents are to blame for not looking after their children's health. v. 3
According to the latest report by the World Health Organisation, child obesity is one of the growing cause of concern in America, Canada and Europe. With one in every three children obese or overweight, as compared to one in every ten children worldwide, developing countries face an imminent threat to its young population's health. Such situations, usually arise when a child consumes too many sugary drinks and dishes that contains more fat and carbohydrates with no physical exercise. When these children grow, they face many complicated health problems such as cardiovascular disease, diabetes etc. This is due to the fact that during young age, children build up immunity; and as they grow older, their immunity weakens. So it is common for an adult, who was an obese child, to fall ill more often in comparison to an adult who had a regular childhood. But, some people believe that parents are not too careful about what their kids eat. This is true because of the fact that many families nowadays prefer to order online or prepare instant food for dinner. Although, such things taste delicious, they still lack the nutritional value of a balanced diet. Thus, kids nowadays feel that it is perfectly safe to skip home cooked meals and eat at food outlets that offer more tasty and mouth watering dishes. Hence, it becomes crucial for parents to educate their children about healthy eating habits and the ill effects unhealthy eating. Thus, we can conclude that moderate amount of fast food along with physical exercises and a balanced nutritional diet is necessary to prevent obesity among children.
According to the latest report by the World Health
Organisation
, child obesity is one of the growing cause of concern in America, Canada and Europe. With one in every three
children
obese or overweight, as compared to one in every ten
children
worldwide,
developing countries
face an imminent threat to its young population's health.

Such situations,
usually
arise when a child consumes too
many
sugary drinks and dishes that contains more
fat
and carbohydrates with no physical exercise. When these
children
grow, they face
many
complicated health problems such as cardiovascular disease, diabetes etc.
This is due to the fact that
during young age,
children
build up immunity; and as they grow older, their immunity weakens.
So
it is common for an adult, who was an obese child, to fall ill more
often
in comparison
to an adult who had a regular childhood.

But
,
some
people
believe that parents are not too careful about what their kids eat. This is true
because of the fact that
many
families nowadays prefer to order online or prepare instant food for dinner. Although, such things taste delicious, they
still
lack the nutritional value of a balanced diet.

Thus
, kids nowadays feel that it is
perfectly
safe to skip home cooked meals and eat at food outlets that offer more tasty and mouth watering dishes.
Hence
, it becomes crucial for parents to educate their
children
about healthy eating habits and the ill effects unhealthy eating.

Thus
, we can conclude that moderate amount of
fast
food along with physical exercises and a balanced nutritional diet is necessary to
prevent
obesity among
children
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
6Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay The number of overweight children in developed countries is increasing. Some people think this is due to problems such as the growing number of fast food outlets. Others believe that parents are to blame for not looking after their children's health. v. 3

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
267 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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