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the number of crime is increasing in some countries

the number of crime is increasing in some countries GLywQ
The lack of education has caused different issues to modern society such as increase the gap between the classes and consequently the high number of crimes around the world. The only way to deal with this is giving to children a good base and perspective for them future. Within the many causes to talk certainly, the lack of education can be appointed as one of the main ones. Every day we can see children out of the school for different reasons that starts on basic issues such as transport or even a lack of opportunity (children those needed to abandon the school to work). Countries from second world as Brazil, its a big example where the lack of education is a big reality and results on kids growing up without any life perspective. unfortunately the biggest part of these see on crime the only way to build a better life. In addition the economic gap between the classes has been increased. The power of the capitalism has increased the distance between the social classes, everyday the rich is becoming richer and the poor is looking for another way to bring food his house or, buy something they desire. Then, committing a crime its the only way to achieve their goals. The most effective way to deal with the causes showed before is looking after the education, giving to children and young people more possibilities and opportunities to build a better future, remove them from the streets and show that they are the most responsible for achieving their own goal.
The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lack
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
has caused
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
issues to modern society such as increase the gap between the classes and
consequently
the high number of crimes around the world. The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
way to deal with this is giving to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
base and perspective for them future.

Within the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
causes to talk
certainly
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lack
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
can
be appointed
as one of the main ones. Every day we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
out of the school for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
reasons that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
starts
on basic issues such as transport or even a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lack
of opportunity
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
(children
those needed to abandon the school to work). Countries from second world as Brazil,
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its
a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
example where the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lack
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
reality and results on kids growing up without any life perspective.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
unfortunately
the biggest part of these
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
on crime the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
way to build a better life.

In
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
addition
the economic gap between the classes has
been increased
. The power of the capitalism has increased the distance between the social classes,
'Everyday' is an adjective. Did you mean "every day"?
everyday
the rich is becoming richer and the poor is looking for another way to bring food his
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
or,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
something they desire. Then, committing a crime
Did you mean "it's" (="it is") instead of 'its' (possessive pronoun)?
its
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
way to achieve their goals.

The most effective way to deal with the causes
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
is looking after the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
, giving to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
and young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
more possibilities and opportunities to build a better future, remove them from the streets and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
that they are the most responsible for achieving their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
goal.
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IELTS essay the number of crime is increasing in some countries

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
259 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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