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The no.of people who are at a risk of serious health problems due to being overweight is increasing.What are the problems caused by obesity? how can the problem solved?

The no. of people who are at a risk of serious health problems due to being overweight is increasing. What are the problems caused by obesity? how can the problem solved? GLrVg
In the neoteric era, due to fast pased lite People Suttered form health problems all of them the major problem is obesity Howerer, the causes by obesity and soution of this problem will be discussed further in the ensuing paragraph.  First of all, Several problems caused by obesity people face many physical health issues like breathing, slackness, Back pain, Knee problems and, numerous more also decreasing the Span of Life. Moreover, another problem is community feel abjection and later on they beeome mentally retarted. furthermore, People who suffered from the obesity who are not able to work longtime because of tiredness. Obesity may nagative ettect on health.
In the neoteric era, due to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
Possible spelling mistake found.
pased
lite
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
Possible spelling mistake found.
Suttered
form health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
all of them the major
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
is obesity
Possible spelling mistake found.
Howerer
, the causes by obesity and
Possible spelling mistake found.
soution
of this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
will
be discussed
further
in the ensuing paragraph.  
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, Several
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
caused by obesity
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
face
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
physical health issues like breathing, slackness, Back pain, Knee
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
and, numerous more
also
decreasing the Span of Life.

Moreover
, another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
is community feel abjection and later on they
Possible spelling mistake found.
beeome
mentally
Possible spelling mistake found.
retarted
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
furthermore
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
who suffered from the obesity who are not able to work longtime
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of tiredness. Obesity may
Possible spelling mistake found.
nagative
Possible spelling mistake found.
ettect
on health.

IELTS essay The no. of people who are at a risk of serious health problems due to being overweight is increasing. What are the problems caused by obesity? how can the problem solved?

Essay
  American English
2 paragraphs
107 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
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