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The necessaries of learning other language

The necessaries of learning other language xxmkQ
Have you ever thought that learning other language is not necessary? In my point, I think learning second language is completely necessary for us, because I have a horrible memory that I have lost in other country. First, all things begin for two years ago, my family had a trip to Singapore. This was amazing trip because it was my first time that I went to another country and went by plane. In the morning, tour guide had told us about Singapore’s life style and cultural, then he took us to visit famous places at here such as Garden by the Bay, little India and Arab, . . it made me feel extremely cool. In the evening, all people decided to visit casino first and go to watch Water music show- Wings of time. All story began here, I was not old enough to go to Casino so that I had to go around there to wait everyone, and I greatly enjoyed it. What I did not mention was that on my way I got utterly lost because I did not notice the slight difference that everywhere is decored similar. I had realized that I got lost when I went to subway. At that time, I did not have any smart phone so I was confusing how to come back or contact to my family. Luckily, before I left, I had took a photo of this place. So thank to the camera and the English learning process, when I found one receptionist, I took that photo to her and ask about the way to come back. At first time, because of language barrier, she seemed to not undertand me and not show me the way. Fortunately, she was understanding and please to show me how to went back to my family, finally, when I saw my family at the gate, I could be relived. In short, when I have through that trip, I relize that learning foreign language help us lots of thing in our life. So I always try hard to learning and enhace my English skill day by day.
Have you ever
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
is not necessary? In my point, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
second
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
is completely necessary for us,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
I have a horrible memory that I have lost in other country.

First
, all things
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
for two years ago, my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
had a trip to Singapore. This was amazing trip
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it was my
first
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
that I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
went
to another country and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
went
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plane
. In the morning, tour guide had
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
told
us about Singapore’s life style and cultural, then he took us to visit
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
places at here such as Garden by the Bay,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
India and Arab
Did you just mean "," or "."?
, .
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
it
made me feel
extremely
cool. In the evening, all
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
decided to visit casino
first
and go to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
Water music
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
- Wings of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
. All story began here, I was not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
to go to Casino
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that I had to go around there to wait everyone, and I
greatly
enjoyed it. What I did not mention was that on my way I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
utterly
lost
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
I did not notice the slight difference that everywhere is
Possible spelling mistake found.
decored
similar. I had realized that I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
lost when I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
went
to subway. At that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
, I did not have any smart phone
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
I was confusing how to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
back or contact to my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
. Luckily,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
, I had
Use past participle here: "taken".
took
a photo of this place.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
thank to the camera and the English
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
process, when I found one receptionist, I took that photo to her and ask about the way to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
back. At
first
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
barrier, she seemed to not
Possible spelling mistake found.
undertand
me and not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
me the way.
Fortunately
, she
The verb 'understanding' is a stative verb and sometimes the progressive form is not correct. Try a simple form instead.
was understanding
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
please
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
me how to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
went
back to my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
,
finally
, when I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
saw
my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
at the gate, I could
be relived
.

In short, when I have through that trip, I
Possible spelling mistake found.
relize
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
us
Possible agreement error. The noun thing seems to be countable; consider using: "lots of things".
lots of thing
in our life.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
I always try
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to
Did you mean "learn"?
learning
and
Possible spelling mistake found.
enhace
my English
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
day by day.
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IELTS essay The necessaries of learning other language

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
351 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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