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Some assert that schools should concentrate on academic training in math, physics, and language in terms of personal career, while others state that courses such as sports and music should also be included

Some assert that schools should concentrate on academic training in math, physics, and language in terms of personal career, while others state that courses such as sports and music should also be included gq5Bl
As schooling is undeniably important, what should and should not be taught at school has always been a topic of interest in recent years. Some assert that schools should concentrate on academic training in math, physics, and language in terms of personal career, while others state that courses such as sports and music should also be included in the curriculum since they strengthen our mental health. While both views are plausible, I am in favor of the latter. It is undeniable that academic subjects are substantially determinant. Indeed, they enhance personal general power (logic, reasoning, and public speech, an essential ability to be fully explored and developed in college study. Owing to their necessities, corporations nowadays are looking for workers with bachelor degrees, and thus, with an academic qualification, people who attend formal schooling are likely to have a financially viable career after they finish. Therefore, the acquisition of an academic tertiary degree would always be an advantage. On the other hand, subjects like sports and music should not be discounted altogether. While they may not be directly helpful in securing employment, they cultivate the aesthetic sense of pupils, offering them inspiration and even enhancing their morality. Thanks to non-academic subjects, students’ study hours become more enjoyable and more meaningful, Despite not ensuring a stable job, arts, kinds of music and language enrich our beautiful soul and mental health. In conclusion, I believe that academic subjects should no doubt be given precedence in school, but besides, it is also vital that students can be taught other subjects like music or sports.
As schooling is
undeniably
important
, what should and should not
be taught
at school has always been a topic of interest in recent years.
Some
assert that schools should concentrate on
academic
training in math, physics, and language in terms of personal career, while others state that courses such as sports and
music
should
also
be included
in the curriculum since they strengthen our mental health. While both views are plausible, I am in favor of the latter.

It is undeniable that
academic
subjects
are
substantially
determinant.
Indeed
, they enhance personal general power
(
logic, reasoning, and public speech, an essential ability to be
fully
explored and developed in college study. Owing to their necessities, corporations nowadays are looking for workers with bachelor degrees, and
thus
, with an
academic
qualification,
people
who attend formal schooling are likely to have a
financially
viable career after they finish.
Therefore
, the acquisition of an
academic
tertiary degree would always be an advantage.

On the other hand
,
subjects
like sports and
music
should not
be discounted
altogether. While they may not be
directly
helpful in securing employment, they cultivate the aesthetic sense of pupils, offering them inspiration and even enhancing their morality. Thanks to non-academic
subjects
, students’ study hours become more enjoyable and more meaningful, Despite not ensuring a stable job, arts, kinds of
music
and language enrich our
beautiful
soul and mental health.

In conclusion
, I believe that
academic
subjects
should no doubt be
given
precedence in school,
but
besides
, it is
also
vital that students can
be taught
other
subjects
like
music
or sports.
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IELTS essay Some assert that schools should concentrate on academic training in math, physics, and language in terms of personal career, while others state that courses such as sports and music should also be included

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
261 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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