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The natural beauty, plus a strong desire to help, draws me to the continent.

The natural beauty, plus a strong desire to help, draws me to the continent. VP9WQ
During the gap year, I want to relax, travel somewhere and do something useful for society. And the African Impact is my perfect choice. The natural beauty, plus a strong desire to help, draws me to the continent. Curiosity and the desire to discover new lands are the first reason why I choose it. Because of youth, I always want to experience new things, visit new places and meet new friends. Furthermore, Africa is a continent where famous for Sahara desert, the amazing wildlife, and diverse cultures. Hence, I want to explore it. Another reason for choose it is natural beauty. Africa naturally evokes fancies of the wide open champaign dotted with acacia trees, as the sun settles over the horizon. While this type of geography is typical of African safari destinations, the continent is incredibly diverse with hidden gems in nearly every corner. African Impact attracted me not only about the wild beauty of Africa but also the strong desire to help which the main reason I choose it. First, African Impact are leaders in the volunteer travel industry in Africa and experts in responsible volunteering, gap year programs, study abroad service learning, high school travel and internships in Africa with the mission to create "genuine impacts with extraordinary experiences. ” Thus, it is the premise that motivates me to participate. Second, African Impact are diverse in terms of objects and methods of operation. Creating education projects for children in tribal villages or taking care of animals on a game reserve is a project that I am looking forward to and excited about. Therefore, it certainly offers some of the best gap year internship programs. Last but not least, I have a strong passion for volunteer work. The feeling of helping someone, or doing something useful makes me feel more in love with life. And it seems that Africa is a place where leaves us all inspired, able to do more, discover more. Furthermore, after a period of hard work, we should spend more time for ourselves by following our passion and dedicating our talents to society. To conclude, Volunteer abroad in Africa, a place that connects cultures, mindsets and ideas. And I believe that African Impact will inspire and most of all to know that we can make a real impact in Africa.
During the gap year, I want to relax, travel somewhere and do something useful for society. And the African
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Impact
is my perfect choice. The natural beauty, plus a strong desire to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
, draws me to the continent.

Curiosity and the desire to discover
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
lands are the
first
reason why I choose it.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
of youth, I always want to experience
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
things, visit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
places and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
friends.
Furthermore
, Africa is a continent where
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
A determiner is probably missing here: "for the Sahara desert".
for Sahara desert
, the amazing wildlife, and diverse cultures.
Hence
, I want to explore it.

Another reason for choose it is natural beauty. Africa
naturally
evokes fancies of the wide open
Possible spelling mistake found.
champaign
dotted with acacia trees, as the sun settles over the horizon. While this type of geography is typical of African safari destinations, the continent is
incredibly
diverse with hidden gems in
nearly
every corner.

African
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Impact
attracted me not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
about the wild beauty of Africa
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
the strong desire to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
which the main reason I choose it.
First
, African
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Impact
are leaders in the volunteer travel industry in Africa and experts in responsible volunteering, gap year programs, study abroad service learning, high school travel and internships in Africa with the mission to create
Use a smart opening quote here: "“".
"
genuine
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
impacts
with extraordinary experiences. ”
Thus
, it is the premise that motivates me to participate. Second, African
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Impact
are diverse in terms of objects and methods of operation. Creating education projects for children in tribal villages or taking care of animals on a game reserve is a project that I am looking forward to and excited about.
Therefore
, it
certainly
offers
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of the best gap year internship programs. Last
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not least, I have a strong passion for volunteer work. The feeling of helping someone, or doing something useful
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
me feel more in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
with life. And it seems that Africa is a place where
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leaves
us all inspired, able to do more, discover more.
Furthermore
, after a period of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
work, we should spend more time for ourselves by following our passion and dedicating our talents to society.

To conclude
, Volunteer abroad in Africa, a place that connects cultures, mindsets and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
. And I believe that African
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Impact
will inspire and most of all to know that we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a real
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
impact
in Africa.
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IELTS essay The natural beauty, plus a strong desire to help, draws me to the continent.

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
385 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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