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The movement of people from the countryside into the cities is happening in many part of world, resulting in problems, especially in cities. What are the causes of this movement, and how can it be reversed?

Immense rush towards urban areas has been noticed during past few decades all around the world. This fascination leads to rise few serious issues in cities. Some considerable factors stimulate this trends, which are briefly disclosed in the successive paragraphs with effective remedies for getting rid of them. In the current era, many reasons account for people's March towards cities. The first and foremost is considered as willingness of better joe opportunities because in countryside people have not enough work to earn money, apart from cultivations. So, people from villages prefer to reside in city areas where even low qualified person can find relavant job without any stress. Secondly, lack of basic as well as essential elements in countryside enhance people to choose city over surburg area. For instance, poor transportation system, low graded schools, lack of higher education center and so on. However, above mentioned tendency of people rush towards cities can be controlled by taking few effective decision. Government should provide better facilities in outskirts of the city areas such as, cheap and convenient public transportation for commuting working persons to easy access to cities. In addition, industrial zones should be established in countryside, which will be beneficial for government as well as for localites, since initial land cost will be less and people will get employment too. Moreover, benefits of better internet connectivity should be provided to rural areas, which will have reduced people's movement towards cities, since people will be able to complete their work by staying at home, which will reduce number of vehicle on city roads. In conclusion, people from countryside are willing to have better facilities, this, this aspect blears them towards urban areas. Unless, government will provide basic necessities, this March will be continued.
Immense rush towards urban
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
has
been noticed
during past few decades all around the world. This fascination leads to rise few serious issues in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
considerable factors stimulate this trends, which are
briefly
disclosed in the successive paragraphs with effective remedies for getting rid of them. In the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
era,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
reasons account for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's March towards
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
. The
first
and foremost
is considered
as willingness of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
Possible spelling mistake found.
joe
opportunities
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countryside
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
work to earn money, apart from
Possible spelling mistake found.
cultivations
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from villages prefer to reside in city
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
where even low qualified person can find
Possible spelling mistake found.
relavant
job without any
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
.
Secondly
, lack of basic
as well
as essential elements in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countryside
enhance
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to choose city over
Possible spelling mistake found.
surburg
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
area
.
For instance
, poor transportation system, low graded schools, lack of higher education center and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on.
However
, above mentioned tendency of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
rush towards
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
can
be controlled
by taking
Possible agreement error. The noun decision seems to be countable; consider using: “few effective decisions”.
few effective decision
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Government
should provide
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
facilities in outskirts of the city
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
such as,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cheap
and convenient public transportation for commuting working persons to easy access to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
.
In addition
, industrial zones should
be established
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countryside
, which will be beneficial for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
as well
as for
Possible spelling mistake found.
localites
, since initial land cost will be less and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
employment too.
Moreover
, benefits of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
internet connectivity should
be provided
to rural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
, which will have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's movement towards
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
, since
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will be able to complete their work by staying at home, which will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
number of vehicle on city roads.
In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countryside
are willing to have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
facilities, this, this aspect
Possible spelling mistake found.
blears
them towards urban
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
. Unless,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
will provide
Consider using “necessities”.
basic necessities
, this March will
be continued
.
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IELTS essay The movement of people from the countryside into the cities is happening in many part of world, resulting in problems, especially in cities. What are the causes of this movement, and how can it be reversed?

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
292 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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